The freaks in my little ghoul's life,
The freaks in my little ghoul's life.

Lily: Our little ghoul went out to play,
And brought a new friend home one day.
"Mommy, he may be a nerd, looks kinda dull,"
"But he's so much fun when the moon is full!"
"Can he stay, Mommy?"
"Can he play, Mommy?"
Yes, Dear, but no biting.

Herman: Just before his first century's end,
Our little ghoul made many friends.
"Dad, this is Ramasses - he's a mummy -"
"Can he stay for dinner with me?"
I guess so, son,
But he smells funny -
I wish he'd change his clothes.

The freaks in my little ghoul's life,
The freaks in my little ghoul's life.

Lily: Was it after one more Hallowe'en -
That our little ghoul got baaad and mean?
"Mom, I went surfing tonight -"
"I met a fish -"
"He thought I'd make a tasty dish!"
"He bites, Mom -"
"So I bit him, Mom."
"Now he's a vampire shark, Mom!"

Herman: Just as he outgrew knee pants,
My ghoul went out and found romance.
Now it was, "Bopa made a date for me -"
"She's just like Mom!"
"I want to take her to the vampire's prom!"
"She has black hair, Mom,"
"like you, Mom,"
"With white streaks, too, Mom!"

Lily: It seemed when he just finished school,
My Sonny met the Super Ghoul.
"Mom, there's a talent scout -"
"He's from Hollywood -"
"To make a film 'bout us, if he could!"
Again, Son ?
Why do you think we were born,
In the first place, Son?

The freaks in my little ghoul's life,
The freaks in my little ghoul's life.

Zombies, and space aliens, and vampires and apes -
Not to mention -
There's another blockbuster being taped.
I know that we are frightening,
But that's our job -
Entertaining the movie going mob.
Cut and print, boy.
It's a wrap, Boy.
Good night, John Boy.