If you missed the start of our parody of the entire musical on Wednesday, September 30, 2009, please enjoy it in order!
Scene 1 is
here.
Scene 2 is
here.
Scene 3 is
here.
Scene 4 is
here.
Scene 5 is
here.
Scene 6 is
here.
Scene 7 is
here.
Scene 8 is
here.
Scene 9 is
here.
Scene 10 is
here.
Scene 11 is
here.
Scene 12 is
here.
Scene 13 is
here.
Scene 14 is
here.
In our last exciting episode, Professor Turtle, puzzled, bewildered, and, to be honest, a little bit miffed, at the excoriating exit of the frivolously foolish Fiddlegirl, is reassured by his faithful friend and companion, Col. Nitpickering, that the Professor is a fine fellow, ever mellow, despite her bellow. Thus, when she confronts him, he expects her to be begging for forgiveness.
For the first time in his entire life, the Professor is wrong.
FG: [singing]
What a duel it’s been; an abomination cruel
You stink! *You* pan my mirth; I cry
Aren’t *you* the jewel? Stern and stubborn as a mule;
But I’m finished! You may quote, “Goodbye!”
Ciao, you inflated bag of wind;
Paro- Star! Watch the Fiddlegirl ascend!
TT: [speaking]
Too sensitive—fussy! These modern ideas that she’s read are absurd, North and South. I’m *not* gonna go there.
FG: [singing]
Folks ... will ... post, have no fear, without you
AmIRight will be here without you
There'll be Fives, sets of three
Plenty more paro-dy
There'll be Sir Chuck-yG without you
Lyric satire will thrive without you
We won’t fret; we’ll survive without you
Though your ego is vain from your brilliance, it’s plain
There’s no e-ternal flame lit for you
We can do.......
Without you!
You, dear friend, who pace so well,
You can go to Hartford, Houston, and Hawaii!
Chuck can still run this page without you
I will be all the rage without you
Adios, now—adieu
Find a new gal to screw, ‘cause I’m through!
TT: [spoken]
You crazy wussy!
FG:
Without your kenning it, the tide has turned
My Cae-sar “salad days”, like Cleo, spurned
No doubt your pushiness will now subside…
If AIR can do without you, Tommy—So can I!
I have friends of my own: nice men, too
Kind, encouraging, sweet -- not like you
Just stay there in your shell
I can write bloody well
Without --
TT: [singing] interrupts:
By...... Chuck, I really did it!
Wit pitted; out-witted
I said I'd make a writer from a noobish kid
'Spite times that I thought, "Screw it",
Work through it; pursue it
I'd make an AmIRighter, and exceed, I did!
[spoken]
Ms. Fiddle, you are punster-ful!
The Impressor is professed! (Sorry, folks, it's been a rather grueling write for both of us. One more try:) The Professor is impressed! He's made a professional-quality parodist of her, as he set out to do -- and he actually admires her new independent spirit!
But has there been too much water under the dam -- or is it "over the bridge" -- or is it "off the bridge"? No,
that was
our Chappaquiddick series.
Anyway, can they patch this all up, or must they forever go their separate ways? Tune in for our thrilling conclusion!