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Song Parodies -> "Internet Poultry Auction"
Original Song Title:
"Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Otis Redding
Parody Song Title:
"Internet Poultry Auction"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
Never has the phrase "Caveat Emptor" been more applicable. An innocent transaction goes wrong....
Surplus roosters on the farm
I'm unloading one via dotcom
Foghorn's quite slow and thin
And he's far too gone to lay a hen
(I'm) sellin' my old cock on eBay
Seventy five bids today!
People gaggin' for my cock on eBay
Hey, that's fine
Invited to an orgy?
Int'rest from some Frisco gays?
Requests for length and circumf'rence-
And pics of sodomistic love displays?
Why are they desp'rate for my cock on eBay?
While the sun shines, I'll make hay
I'll get wealthy with my cock on eBay
That's sublime.
All these weirdos acting strange
Coz I said that my cock's free range
I can't do with this dang hullabaloo
So I'll pull out of this exchange
Readin' an email from "Joan"
And she's asking if there's meat on the bone
I'm not sure, but I've a hunch
That she wants my cock for lunch
So I'm withdrawing my old cock all the way
Joanie won't dine, gays won't play
No-one's getting' my old cock off eBay
Not this time.
[whistle]
I'm unloading one via dotcom
Foghorn's quite slow and thin
And he's far too gone to lay a hen
(I'm) sellin' my old cock on eBay
Seventy five bids today!
People gaggin' for my cock on eBay
Hey, that's fine
Invited to an orgy?
Int'rest from some Frisco gays?
Requests for length and circumf'rence-
And pics of sodomistic love displays?
Why are they desp'rate for my cock on eBay?
While the sun shines, I'll make hay
I'll get wealthy with my cock on eBay
That's sublime.
All these weirdos acting strange
Coz I said that my cock's free range
I can't do with this dang hullabaloo
So I'll pull out of this exchange
Readin' an email from "Joan"
And she's asking if there's meat on the bone
I'm not sure, but I've a hunch
That she wants my cock for lunch
So I'm withdrawing my old cock all the way
Joanie won't dine, gays won't play
No-one's getting' my old cock off eBay
Not this time.
[whistle]
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 25 | 26 | 25 |
User Comments
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Kristof, you dirty minded man, oh no wait thats me, this is awesome!! 555
Yes Kristof you are the master of the "Whoopsidaisies", "Yipsidodas", and now the "Hullabaloos" are you sure you're not Dr. Seuss in disguise?
i crowed over this...especially the "lunch" part..5s plus
I can't believe I didn't see that coming. 555
Nice. A good story on how wrong word choices can go awry.
No innuendo in this, heh, heh, heh,...good one, Kristof
Really funny concept and situations. I was gonna withhold a vote here because I thought there might be a pacing problem in the "People gaggin' for my cock on eBay" line, but I'm not that sure I'm right about that. I THINK the OS there is "I'm just (a)-sittin' on the dock of the Bay", so the syllables match...actually the last half of the line is totally perfect...I guess "People" and "I'm just" are a little off to me...Jesus, am I getting PICKY...so I DIDN'T withhold my vote and I DIDN'T 'ding' you, because if that's my only quibble I should chill out and just enjoy how really funny this is...and then maybe go out and get a life somewhere...5's ~ ~ ~
In-'n-Outuendo at it's best. "Requests for length and circum'frence" cracked me up.555
People will sell anything on ebay these days! 555
This one had me crowing out loud!
(SOTM) I'm a sucker for a clever double-entendre...thanks for submitting it under a different title!
SOTM-Great
(SOTM) Oh my, Kristof. Fantastic! Where do you come up with these ideas?!
SOTM - Dog breeders have that problem with bitches all the time, but this was a nice twist on the problem! :-)
(SOTM) That's the LAST time I talk to my mate Nathan, now I get all the double-entendrees here! FESTY! Yet still funny!
(SOTM) I usually give a lot of praise in SOTM, but rarely do I use the word "perfect." This was perfect. 555+
so have you "plucked" your cock yet ?lol oooerrrr missuss you naughty boy ! top banana 555 (does it wake you in the morning ?)
(SOTM) It's disturbing.. the thought of... selling a cock... on eBay... funny... but... disturbing... 5-5-5
(SOTM)See above!
Definitely Dr. Demento material! Agreed about the doule-meaning and the way you kind of sneaked into it.---MM
(SOTM) ooh I missed this one, Kristof - very witty double entendres, my fave being "withdrawing" (double entendres seem to be a bit of a theme at the moment!) - and just the "cock on ebay" sub for "dock of the bay" was brilliant - how do you keep coming up with so many brilliant title subs? - 555
SOTM - You're a master ... even if your name isn't Bates.
You " Made It So ", Commander Wharf -- Q'oCkPLAH!
Thought I'd already commented on this one, too. Must have not been able to think of a witty cock-related remark ;-) And I still can't: "cock" jokes are just too hard...
"Hey, here comes the rooster..." Dammit, now when I hear that song, I'll be thinking double-meanings too. Very doubly-funny
(SOTM) Kind of a funny concept... making a withdrawal from EBay.
I said to my cock, "Cock, a dude'll do," but I couldn't convince it; it only wants chicks.
Absolutely lovely extended double-entendre, Kristof. "Extended." Heh heh.
Absolutely lovely extended double-entendre, Kristof. "Extended." Heh heh.
Not your best, but still really, really good
(SOTY) A very funny premise from Mr. Robertson, well executed, as usual. My only complaint about this cock song is that it could have been longer. 555+++
(SOTY) Above comment. . .funny pun. . .above parody. . .is a pun. . .Kristof, I almost chocked on this cock of yours. . .what a funny funny song. . .In my top 7 thus far. . .that's a no brainer.
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