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Song Parodies -> "Skids!"

Original Song Title:

"Kids!"

Original Performer:

Paul Lynde (Lee Adams/Charles Strouse composers)

Parody Song Title:

"Skids!"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

Fact is, I never heard the word "skids" used in this particular sense before chancing to verhear the mother in a family with whom we beach-vacationed throughout the '80s excoriating her then-8-or-so-year-old son more or less as detailed here for just that offense. :-)
"Skids"

Skids!
You know they don’t belong in your Hanes, no way!
Skids!
You leave your briefs tanned and those stains’ll stay!
Skids!
They’re a misdeed! Repent, if beige tracks fill your tighties --
nasty, dirty, ugly, turdy whities!
And while we’re on the subject …
Skids!
I’ll squawk if your Jockeys bear streaks ecru!
Skids!
TP, not BVD’s is the place for poo.
Why can’t yours be like mine are,
unmarked in any way?
Why must you always leave skids of bay?

Skids!
Your skivvies show stripes in six shades of wood.
Skids! Skids!

Soiled like nappies – filthy, crappy boxers!
And while we’re on the subject …
Skids!
Don’t you know how to wipe your hole?
Skids!
Is leaving undies fudged some weird goal?
Please leave your pants like mine are,
Else go commando, eh?
Please leave no more of those skids, OK?
© Stan Hall ... Birdie ranks high among my all-time favorite B'way musicals. That the cinematic version retained the inimitable Paul Lynde as Mr. MacAfeeand _almost_ offset the disastrous casting of the ever-overrated, always vaguely slutty-looking Ann-Marget as Kim. Not to deny A-M her due, tho', she did ... er, serve adequately -- even Oscar also-ranly -- opposite Jack Nicholson, already typecast, in 1971'2 "Carnal Knowledge." :-)
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0
Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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alvin - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
my fave of the day....fun sing a long...big fan of 'birdie"
John Barry - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
A first for "ecru," I'm guessing.
littleCupCakes - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
555 just for the mention of ~ Bye Bye Birdie~ Ann Margaret is my brother-in-Law's favorite film lady.
Invisible Boy - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
As I finally settle-in after a long day it's nice to come across such a sensitive parody. My Dad liked to say, "Looks like there are fudgies in the east undies". I never quite knew what he meant. Now I do.
John Jenkins - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
You are an original, Stan, and this parody is one of your most original!
TJC - December 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellente y muy original mi general~!

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