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Song Parodies -> "What is Most Antagon(izing to Me)"

Original Song Title:

"Puff the Magic Dragon"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Peter, Paul & Mary

Parody Song Title:

"What is Most Antagon(izing to Me)"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

Of the three biggest lies ("The check's in the mail," "Yes, I'll respect you in the morning," and "I'm from the government and I'm here to help"), the third one might be the most brazen of all.
People get antagonized frequently.
From girls with herpes they have kissed to boy friends who have fleas,
People lose their tempers over lots of stuff;
And, me, when my pet peeve occurs, I have to yell "Enough!"

What is most antagonizing to me
Are well intentioned laws they pass in Washington, D.C.
Little stacks of paper ascend to the sky
To comply with those laws they pass; will someone tell me why?

"We're really here to help you." Yes, that is what they say.
They're about as helpful as a snowstorm in L.A.
Noble legislators claim to be so smart
That, lacking their benevolence, our lives would fall apart.

Acronym Hell results from laws that they impel,
Like HHS and OSHA, whose staffs are OTL.
SNAFU is the MO of the EPA,
And, in the War on Drugs, the DEA was DOA.

Yes, my hopes are saggin' for sanity
To infiltrate the hallowed halls of Washington, D.C.
Party hacks and staffers don't know how to quit
Setting up big agencies that serve no benefit

Agencies live forever, they just cannot be killed
Even when their purposes have never been fulfilled.
Pompous politicians have a most peculiar quirk:
They like to throw tax dollars at programs that don't work.

I dread to see their new War – against Obesity,
Since these are the guys who couldn't beat Drugs or Poverty.
Will they outlaw Twinkies or require permits
To start my day with pizza pie instead of Alpha-Bits?

Yes, it's really agonizing to see
The interfering folks who serve in Washington, D.C.
Little stacks of paper appease those bureaucrats
Who will enjoy enforcing rules that outlaw being fat!
Acronym Hell (Some of these entrées from the alphabet poop menu have multiple meanings. These are the meanings I intended):
HHS (Department of) Health & Human Services
OSHA Occupational Safety & Health Administration
OTL Out to lunch
SNAFU Situation normal, all fouled up (or something like that)
MO Modus operandi (method of operating)
EPA Environmental Protection Agency
DEA Drug Enforcement Administration
DOA Dead on arrival

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   16
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User Comments

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Royce Miller - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Very interesting the way you rhymed, and very worthwhile topic, John.
John Jenkins - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Royce.
Rex - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done. And you know - if they threw enough tax dollars at me I wouldn't work either! :-)
Kristof Robertson - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good, John..now, if you could file it in triplicate along with Document A, but only if your GDP is less than three thousand pigs....
martha - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
greta stuff John working in the finance and law filed believe it the acronyms are out of control... have a song about that in the F's contest
2nz - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Great take on the OS, John. Really excellent stuff. Fave couplet: "quirk/They like to throw tax dollars at programs that don't work"
John Jenkins - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Rex, Kristof, Martha, and 2nz. And, Kristof, I think you've simplified things.
Dumb Ass Kid - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: DKTOS
Agrimorfee - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Pretty good satire.
Tim Mayfield - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) GTOADS WSYGT and ICBYHSIITIWOTG.
great take on a dumb song
wonderful stuff you got there
i can't believe you have such insight into the inner workings of the government
5's
Rick C - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Brilliant satire!
Red Ant - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very good satire on government, something I can never pull off. The 4th stanza/ part was killer for me ( nailing everyone in acronym hell ). That and the war on obesity.
Charlie Decker - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh, I love political satire! I haven't written enough recently, but this has inspired me!
Scathe - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So many acronyms, what a pain.
Adagio - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Something I never did...political satire...good one. 5's
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'd like to pick up on what Rex said and add that one can not be to hard on senators, if I had 600 000 billions to juggle I'd be irresponsible too. :-)
Spaff.com - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Are you a pothead, Focker?

I'm soooo with ya, Johnkins. Give me a few billion bucks and I will TOTALLY win the war on drugs. By legalizing them. I'd rather have a few more addicts and a few less gangs killing each other to supply them.

Your stuff is consistently top-notch. Add this one to that crowded notch up on the top there. Bonus points for the acronym verse and for your Twinkies and Alpha-Bits product placements.
John Jenkins - June 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, particularly those relating to acronyms. I was underestimating AmIRight readers when I anticipated someone insinuating that since I don’t like well intentioned laws, I must like laws passed with evil intentions.

I am not a pothead (I have no desire to get my substance-induced highs from anything other than beer or wine). I think that use of other drugs is mostly foolish, but perhaps not as foolish as the War on Drugs, which repeats the mistakes that were made when Prohibition was tried 80 years ago. And, as Spaff implies, makes the situation worse.
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You tell 'em, JJ!
Mikey Squirrel - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hey, ya know what the lyrics of the OS is about, eh? Just another pointless coincidence, I guess. In your acronym hell, you left out what D.C. means! (Haha, get it? I'm an ignorant Canadian..oh never mind) Anyways Jeff, marvelous job on old childhood classic. Tri-Fives.
Arwen - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--nice work, John!
Stuart McArthur - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) yes, laws, and more of em! that's what we all want. Last week in our state here in Australia, they made a rule that taxi drivers aren't allowed to talk religion or politics in their cabs - unless they fill out forms in triplicate for an exemption
Jeff Reuben - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: Very good!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Loved the title and a well-written parody to boot.

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