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Song Parodies -> "Bad Actor Mark"

Original Song Title:

"MacArthur Park"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Richard Harris

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Actor Mark"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Now it's time for Mr. C.S, Mr. S.P. and Ms. L.T. (you know who you are) to explain how Congressman Mark Foley, the gay pedophile alcoholic Republican from the Southern State of Florida, is A) being unfairly smeared by the dominant liberal media, or B) coming out of the closet... as a liberal Democrat! Doncha love watching hypocrites squirm? A "bad actor" is someone unable to play the part that others demand of him. "The clink" is jail. Note that "love's hot-fevered iron" is an actual phrase from the original song. I don't know what drug Jimmy Webb was on when he wrote it, but Viagra didn't exist then.
(long instrumental opening)

Clink may now be waiting for you, Mark.
You ran one step ahead
in this extra-legal dance.

Between underage pages you have pressed
until love's hot-fevered iron
was felt underneath your pants.

Bad actor, Mark, your future's looking dark.
Your approval rating going down.
You're bigger threat than Saddam Hussein.
I don't think that you can fake it
'cause you went so far to shake it
and you'll never work in politics again!
Oh no!

I recall the e-mails, what a mess
flowing like a wave
from the ThinkPad on your knees.

The kids, not much past babies when your hands
left your career so checkered.
Foley, please!

Bad actor, Mark, your future's looking dark.
Your approval rating going down.
You're bigger threat than Saddam Hussein.
I don't think that you can fake it
'cause you went so far to shake it
and you'll never work in politics again!
Oh no!

(short instrumental break)

There will be excuse from G.O.P.
for they will... make it.
There will be some more dishonesty.
They'll always fake it.
He will drink the wine while it is warm.
Hopes you won't catch him looking at your son.
And after all his love-slathered lies
oh, after all his love-slathered lies
he'll still be a bum.

He will get fifteen to life, handcuffs on hands
because he... blew it.
He got votes with Christian-sounding lies
and he abused it.
He could not control his bad desire
and his passion flowed like rivers through the sky.
And after all his love-slathered lies
oh, after all his love-slathered lies
Republicans, I ask you...

Can you defend this guy?

(long, long instrumental break
that builds and builds and builds and builds)

Bad actor, Mark, your future's looking dark!
Your approval rating going down!
You're bigger threat than Saddam Hussein!
I don't think that you can fake it!
'Cause you went so far to shake it!
And you'll never work in politics again!
Oh no!
Oh no!

(Speaker Dennis Hastert)
No!
(Party Chairman Jim Nicholson)
No!
(Gay-baiting, trailing for re-election Senator Rick Santorum)
No!
(George W. Bush)
No!
(Republicans everywhere)
Noooooooooooooooo!
Can't wait 'til the 2007 State of the Union Address, when Georgie addresses Nancy Pelosi as, "Madame Speaker..."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
nice bit o' bashin'....this idiot deserves it
TJC - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice... nice... nice... you just about covered `it' all! (Thinkpad on your knees... Heh heh!)
Ravyn Rant - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
"Can you defend this guy?" Apparently they can, judging from the right-wing commentary I've been hearing on some of the news shows. Yikes! Oh, and decent job on a song I've always loathed.
Michael Pacholek - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you, Alvin, TJC and Ravyn. And thank you, Chucky, because I wasn't sure this would get past "the blue pencil." Though I figured if Tommy Turtle's even filthier "McArthur's Mark" (a total NC-17 classic) could, this one would.
DD - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
A pedophile who makes pages uncomfortable (and might or might not have gone further than that) is a bigger threat than a ruthless dictator who murders millions???

Other than his attorney (surprise), I have not heard any Republicans or anybody else defend Foley. I concede that they are having a difficult time determining what to do with Speaker Hastert, but Republicans are strongly condemning the actions of Mark Foley.

And finally, thank you for predicting that a Democrat majority will make Nancy Pelosi the Speaker of the House ... since we know how accurate your electoral and baseball predictions have been in the past.
Stuart McArthur - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
well-written MP - no idea who Mark is (nicely contrived title too there I thought ;-)) - and good point about using TT's parodies as yardsticks of raunch - kinda miss old Tommy - 555
Michael Pacholek - October 05, 2006 - Report this comment
DD, Mark Foley was a bigger threat to AMERICANS than Saddam Hussein -- at least, before March 2003. As for Nancy, why wouldn't a Democratic majority make her Speaker? If they win, there's no reason to dump her.
Blow Me Pach - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I'd like to know what makes the anti-Christian perv party of Slick Willie Clinton, Chappaquidick Ted Kennedy, Pederast Gerry Studds, and Gay Madame Barney Frank can think it has any moral leg to stand on at all for condemning others, considering how it circled the wagons around all of the aforementioned perverts (including the pederasts). If you really give a damn about "pedos" (that's "ephebophiles" anyway, you idiot) let's see your party come clean and condemn Studds and Frank at the very least. (That's for starters. After that, let's see them condemn Pelosi for marching with NAMBLA and Slick Willie for his bizarre use of cigars.) They won't, of course, because like you, they think buggering 17-year-olds and running an illegal gay whorehouse is fine if you're a Democrat. Up yours, Pach.

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