Drew Carey's not waiting for us, girl.
That show, it jumped the shark when they did a song and dance.
And Keri Russell had the gorgeous tress.
We liked her hair much more when it ran down to her pants.

Don't jump the shark, not even on a lark.
All your Nielsen ratings going down.
Someone wrote a script that's such a pain.
I don't think that I can view it
'cause the editors just blew it
and I'll never have that TV show again!
Oh no!

I recall the dual-Darrin mess
and the year Roseanne Barr tried her substitute Beckys.
When Fred Savage grew up we liked him less
and adulthood was so checkered when it became Doogie's.

Don't jump the shark, not even on a lark.
All your Nielsen ratings going down.
Some space babe has come to take Spock's brain.
I don't know who wrote that plotline
but he's got a faulty thoughtline
and he'll never work in Hollywood again!
Oh no?

There will be another show for me
for I will watch it.
There will be a better script for me
or will they botch it?
I will watch the show while it is new
and hope one day it won't make me feel numb.
And after all the shows of my life
oh, after all the shows of my life
they'll still end up dumb.

I will take remote into my hand and I will use it.
I will have some patience with these shows and I will lose it.
I will say these writers should retire
in a fashion so what they write won't make me cry.
And after all the shows of my life
oh, after all the shows of my life
I'll be mourning this show
and wondering why!

(long instrumental break)

Don't jump the shark, not even on a lark!
All your Nielsen ratings going down!
Someone wrote a script that's such a pain!
I don't think that I can view it
'cause the editors just blew it
and I'll never have that TV show again!
Oh no!
Oh no!
No! No! No! No!
Noooooooooooooooo!