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Song Parodies -> "Cameltoe!"
Original Song Title:
"Camelot"
Original Performer:
Richard Harris and Vanessa Redgrave in Camelot
Parody Song Title:
"Cameltoe!"
Parody Written by:
TJC
The Lyrics
Herein, Sir Tommy Turtle, Lusty Liege n' Sheepish Lord Of The Lance and punadulterated lambunctious contender for randiest of us all—and Queen Fiddlegirl, undisputed Queen Of The Realm—discuss their thighdyllic kingdom (actually, more a 'Snug Lil' Duchy', if you catch my drift)--in song, of course!
Link to matching YouTube video (which includes the dialog, natch): HERE!
~
[spoken]
[Sir Tommy Turtle:]
Oh do look around you M'lady
And consider...
Our, snug lil' Duchy is *unique*!
And we have by far and away the most incredible vistas in all Thighland—
Ordained—by thy decree!
[Sir Turtle (now 'sing-speaking')]
It's true!
It's TRUE!
Queen Fiddle's made it clear—
Our nether-ware must *tight-ly* adhere!
[Spoken: Queen Fiddle:]
So trewe, Sir Tommy...
[Sir Tommy (lustily and manfully mouthing main melody)]
Thy Royal writ regarding the 'full moon' here
Proclaims "One's clothes shan't mask thy 'bits' below"
So be prepared to let it all hang out, dears
In Cameltoe!
Here baggy shorts are taboo during yoga
Where downward-dog's the state's official pose
The Queen insists on Thongtards™—tight—with no bra
In Cameltoe!
[ spoken ]
[Queen Fiddle] And I suppose you *men* folk initially thought yourselves immune?
[Sir Tommy] Oh, no M'lady! [pointing to his 'nethers'] This trifecta of well delineated spheres n' cylinder well suits me!
[Sir Turtle (singing)]
Cameltoe!
CAMELtoe!
We prance unshod of outerwear!
[Queen Fiddle (singing)]
For in Cameltoe—
CAMELtoe!
We laud the derriere!
Here baby slots "must clearly be reflected
In spandex, silk or lacy lycra sheers"
Our taughtly girded glades
Ensure 'lip service': Paid!
For drafty tether'd flapperings
we cheer
in
Cam-el-toe!
[Sir Tommy (laughing):] Oh, ho!
[Sir Tommy (singing as though his very footnotes depended upon it!)]
Camel Toe!
CAMEL Toe!
Seems now Apple's steaming mad—
[Queen Fiddle (singing)]
For in Cameltoe!
CAMELtoe!
I've outlawed the iPad!
[soft ye now: sung seductively by Sir Turtle into Fiddle's ear...]
Here GYNy guise is banned and e're verboten
And modesty's considered insincere
But those who immigrate—
Thy crotch we'll celebrate!
[Both (in unison *&* unitards)]
Your drafty tether'd flapper things
we'll cheer
in
CAM-
EL-
TOE!
[Spoken: Queen Fiddle]
Oh... Sir Tommy! Have you substantially augmented the tension in my personal Thigh-Master™?
Yes?! Then I unreservedly grant thee unbridled poetic license—
Prithee, have thy wry way with me!
~ Oh— Sir Tommy! ~
[a breathless Sir Tommy:)]
Most fortunately, my shell's cara'pacious enough to display yet one more of these fine 'notches'!
~
[spoken]
[Sir Tommy Turtle:]
Oh do look around you M'lady
And consider...
Our, snug lil' Duchy is *unique*!
And we have by far and away the most incredible vistas in all Thighland—
Ordained—by thy decree!
[Sir Turtle (now 'sing-speaking')]
It's true!
It's TRUE!
Queen Fiddle's made it clear—
Our nether-ware must *tight-ly* adhere!
[Spoken: Queen Fiddle:]
So trewe, Sir Tommy...
[Sir Tommy (lustily and manfully mouthing main melody)]
Thy Royal writ regarding the 'full moon' here
Proclaims "One's clothes shan't mask thy 'bits' below"
So be prepared to let it all hang out, dears
In Cameltoe!
Here baggy shorts are taboo during yoga
Where downward-dog's the state's official pose
The Queen insists on Thongtards™—tight—with no bra
In Cameltoe!
[ spoken ]
[Queen Fiddle] And I suppose you *men* folk initially thought yourselves immune?
[Sir Tommy] Oh, no M'lady! [pointing to his 'nethers'] This trifecta of well delineated spheres n' cylinder well suits me!
[Sir Turtle (singing)]
Cameltoe!
CAMELtoe!
We prance unshod of outerwear!
[Queen Fiddle (singing)]
For in Cameltoe—
CAMELtoe!
We laud the derriere!
Here baby slots "must clearly be reflected
In spandex, silk or lacy lycra sheers"
Our taughtly girded glades
Ensure 'lip service': Paid!
For drafty tether'd flapperings
we cheer
in
Cam-el-toe!
[Sir Tommy (laughing):] Oh, ho!
[Sir Tommy (singing as though his very footnotes depended upon it!)]
Camel Toe!
CAMEL Toe!
Seems now Apple's steaming mad—
[Queen Fiddle (singing)]
For in Cameltoe!
CAMELtoe!
I've outlawed the iPad!
[soft ye now: sung seductively by Sir Turtle into Fiddle's ear...]
Here GYNy guise is banned and e're verboten
And modesty's considered insincere
But those who immigrate—
Thy crotch we'll celebrate!
[Both (in unison *&* unitards)]
Your drafty tether'd flapper things
we'll cheer
in
CAM-
EL-
TOE!
[Spoken: Queen Fiddle]
Oh... Sir Tommy! Have you substantially augmented the tension in my personal Thigh-Master™?
Yes?! Then I unreservedly grant thee unbridled poetic license—
Prithee, have thy wry way with me!
~ Oh— Sir Tommy! ~
[a breathless Sir Tommy:)]
Most fortunately, my shell's cara'pacious enough to display yet one more of these fine 'notches'!
~
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| 4 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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Can't wait to read Mr. Turtle's take on this one, but it was my fave of the day!!!
Don't let it be forgot that once there was a spot for one brief shining moment that was known as amiright! Thanks again, TJC. ;D
Another masterpiece!
ROFL!!! An inspired bit of burlesque, indeed... 555, and many humpy returns! ;)
Funny stuff
Snarky pleather chapster-fling thanks out to:
Mark: Me too and thanks!
OMR: Appreciate it--and I'd *love* to see *your* take on one of these Camelot golden oldies
John: Yer too kind... and what--you cranked out *eight* today... I feel like an April Fool, and a lazy one at that!
FG: Thank you M'Lady! 'Twas all meant in good fun--for all I know, you actually live in Berkalot and have severe spandexotortugaphobia!
Phil N: Thanks, guy!
Mark: Me too and thanks!
OMR: Appreciate it--and I'd *love* to see *your* take on one of these Camelot golden oldies
John: Yer too kind... and what--you cranked out *eight* today... I feel like an April Fool, and a lazy one at that!
FG: Thank you M'Lady! 'Twas all meant in good fun--for all I know, you actually live in Berkalot and have severe spandexotortugaphobia!
Phil N: Thanks, guy!
(Applauds): Wow, another enjoyable masterpiece! I echo all comments, and I can't wait for TT to read this one, like Mark, I can't wait to read his take on this! 555 stars! Watch out for camletoes, they spit! LOL!!!
~ Oh Christie, Tommy saw it before *anyone* and a shameful load of tripe it is, you naughty girl ! ! ~
@ YawnMaidenForm: I did not see it pre-publication, and I had been away from the site from about mid-March until last week. Knoweth of what thee speaketh before thee prattleth. ;)
@ Christie Marie M: Not only do they spit, they split!
@ TJC: Much better than Jack and Jackie's Camelot, with pundiferous wordsmithery and vivid imagery most appealing! And what a great idea for a new iPad app! or I-something, or eye-something...I give thee this Duchy-bag of 555 gold coins!
@ FG: LOL @ "returns"!
@ Christie Marie M: Not only do they spit, they split!
@ TJC: Much better than Jack and Jackie's Camelot, with pundiferous wordsmithery and vivid imagery most appealing! And what a great idea for a new iPad app! or I-something, or eye-something...I give thee this Duchy-bag of 555 gold coins!
@ FG: LOL @ "returns"!
Many thanks to Christie.
And Sir Turtle, thy kindness is only exceeded by thy inventiveness and vocabulary (and thy polymathery and tutleageocity, etc, etc.!). I will treasure this 'Duchy-bag' (heh!) more than the gold it containeth!
And Sir Turtle, thy kindness is only exceeded by thy inventiveness and vocabulary (and thy polymathery and tutleageocity, etc, etc.!). I will treasure this 'Duchy-bag' (heh!) more than the gold it containeth!
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