Southwest Airlines Flight 17,
Just arrived from New Orleans,
How much farther back should I have gotten off?
Old brown suitcase that I carried,
I've looked for it everywhere, it
Just ain't here among the rest,
And I'm a little upset, yes!

Tell me, Southwest Airlines Flight 17,
Just arrived from New Orleans,
In Dallas I was supposed to change my plane.
But I was sleeping like a baby.
Now I'm lost, I don't mean maybe.
Don't know if I'm in L.A. or Maine.

They warned me of the dangers:
Don't drink with strangers,
Lest by chance I'd lose my senses,
Lower my defenses.
Sell my soul to Hell's environs,
Throwing beads to all the sirens.
How I wish I'd gone to bed instead
Of chugging 'canes at O'Briens.

Southwest Airlines Flight 17,
Just arrived from New Orleans,
Is there a way to get me home from here?
Am I hung-over? Lord, it hit me!
I need a hair of that dog that bit me,
Before we board, can I get one more beer?

I'll be all right if I get just one beer...