Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful op
That started in this Kabul mosque
And ended on a mountaintop
The Shaykh was a blind Wahabbi iman
The Mullah's a Sufi dog
Five shahidiin set out one day
On a five hour slog
On a five hour slog

Their ambush took a turn for the worse
They were spotted up near Khost
If not for the restrictive ROE's*
The martyrs would be toast
The martyrs would be toast
The band escaped to the mouth of this
Unspotted Aghan cave
With Gilligan
The Mullah, too
The Chechnyan
And a Shi'ite
A human shield
The Moderate and a Taliban
At Gilligan's Islam

So this is the tale of our jihadiin
They're stuck for the rest of their life
They'll have to keep from killing themselves
Because of sectarian strife
The Blind Shaykh and The Mullah too
Will do their very best
To keep from slitting each other's throats
In their forlorn Afghan nest
No wives, no phones, no praying rugs
Not a single luxury
Like Mohammed and his Ashab*
As primitive as can be
So join us here each week, yal Akh*
You're sure to say "Salaam"
From seven stir crashed jihadiin
At Gilligan's Islam