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Song Parodies -> "Coldfinger"
Original Song Title:
"Goldfinger"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Shirley Bassey
Parody Song Title:
"Coldfinger"
Parody Written by:
Rick Duncan
The Lyrics
He's my Doc, the man with the anal touch
Enjoys too much
Such a bold finger
Says that he must enter your nether eye
He'll probe and pry
Modern tools he has just for your rear
Doesn't smirk while at work, doesn't leer
And you can't be shy about a blister
It's the clammy hand from
Mister Coldfinger
You have to get this done when you get old
You must be bold
This is the procedure that you just fear
When he goes for the hose, eyes will tear
He won't care if it's you or your sister
It's the clammy hand from
Mister Coldfinger
Hope the test says you will live to be old
That hand was cold
It felt really cold
Frickin' cold
Ice cube cold
It was goddam cold
North Pole cold
Really cold
Enjoys too much
Such a bold finger
Says that he must enter your nether eye
He'll probe and pry
Modern tools he has just for your rear
Doesn't smirk while at work, doesn't leer
And you can't be shy about a blister
It's the clammy hand from
Mister Coldfinger
You have to get this done when you get old
You must be bold
This is the procedure that you just fear
When he goes for the hose, eyes will tear
He won't care if it's you or your sister
It's the clammy hand from
Mister Coldfinger
Hope the test says you will live to be old
That hand was cold
It felt really cold
Frickin' cold
Ice cube cold
It was goddam cold
North Pole cold
Really cold
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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Sounds like he works in the same clinic as my proctologist, Dr. Boldfinger:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/shirleybasseyjamesbondmovietheme0.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/shirleybasseyjamesbondmovietheme0.shtml
Hmm, pasting that link into my previous comment caused Chucky's anti-spammer software to introduce a bogus " - " hyphen character between the "b" and the "ond" of "bond".
When you paste that link into your browser, be sure to remove that bogus hyphen, and then click "Go", and it should work OK.
When you paste that link into your browser, be sure to remove that bogus hyphen, and then click "Go", and it should work OK.
I just go to your list.
This one ain't hard to finger out. The glove has five fingers andcoincidentally it's the same number as my vote. You and JD plan this today? Your songs seem to 'goinside' or coincide today. Go finger.
Rick - sends shivers down my spine - (and up it, too) 5's
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to recycle a comment, first used for Malcolm's "The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald," but it's worth it: I believe this one deserves a toast. Bottoms up!
after readin' your's and johnny's back to back, my butt's startin' to itch a little...funny one...5s
5:5:5
(Five, colon, five, colon, five)
(Five, colon, five, colon, five)
This one should make it onto the proctology album with Malcolm's "It's Still Colonoscopy." 555 d;:^)
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