And here's to you, Ms DeGeneres
TV ratings owe success to you - That's so true
Consider, please, Ms DeGeneres
NBC is vacant without Jay - Have your say right away.

There's a high mentality behind your pretty smile
We need you to help us - business is your style
All around you in L.A. flip mansions with success
Buy the studio and help us with this mess.

Counting on you, Ms DeGeneres
Burbank needs you more than they'll admit - It's the pits
We guarantee, Ms DeGeneres
You'll make Burbank famous once again - like Laugh In, doin' again.

Emceeing the Oscars was your moment on the town
You deserve an Oscar for your very own
Treating glitterati to Big Papas was soigne
Such a glitzy party to celebrate PI Day.

Ay, mazel tov, Ms DeGeneres
Everything you touch turns into gold - Grab ahold
And come what may, Ms DeGeneres
Maybe NBC will bounce back, too - up to you, up to you.

Sitting on your love seat every weekday afternoon
Hearing all the latest from celebs
Listen to them, gossip with them - where is the limelight?
You'll get more exposure on late night.

Where have you gone, Johnny Carson
The public has fond memories of you - what to do?
What do you say, Ms DeGeneres?
Johnny never bought us pizza pie - That's no lie, don't know why.