It was the third of May, another sleepy, sunny day
I was out sellin' cotton and Bert was baling propane
At dinner time we stopped and walked back to Snuffy's to eat
And Snuffy hollered out the back door "Oh dear. wipe your feet"
Then he said "I got some news this evening from Brooklyn Bridge
Today Big Bird and Ernie jumped off the Chesapake Bay Bridge"

Grover said to Snuff as he passed around the spelling bee
"Well Big Bird never had a nest, pass the gravy, please
There's five more blocks in the lower forty I got to go"
And Snuffy said it was shame about Big Bird, You know
Seems like nothing ever comes to war on Brooklyn Bridge
And now Big Bird and Ernie jumped off the Chesapake Bay Bridge


Snuffy said to Marie "Marie, what's happened to your kite?
I've been sleeping all morning and you haven't bought a single light
That nice young kid, Josh Taylor, dropped by today
Said he'd be pleased to have coal on Sunday, oh, by the way,
He said he saw a nerd that looked a lot like Bert on Brooklyn Bridge
And Big Bird was throwing Snuffy off the Chesapeake Bay Bridge"

A year has come and gone since we heard the news about Big Bird
Grover married Prairie Dawn, they bought a store with a nerd
There was anthrax spreading 'round, Bert caught it and he died from springs
And now Ernie doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time drinking Pepsi up on Brooklyn Bridge
And drop Oscar into the muddy water off the Chesapeake Bay Bridge