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Song Parodies -> "Stupid College Freshmen Who Get Mononucleosis"
Original Song Title:
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
Original Performer:
Soundtrack, Mary Poppins
Parody Song Title:
"Stupid College Freshmen Who Get Mononucleosis"
Parody Written by:
John Dacey
The Lyrics
So, this one gets me five sevenths of what you lot call the Big Seven. Of the remainder, I have little interest in attempting to parody a song that is already self-satirizing (Blinded) and doing further injustice to Bo Rhap seems like hurling a big rock through the rose window of a Gothic cathedral.
.
A stupid college freshman who got mononucleosis
Was so very happy when
He heard the diagnosis:
It wasn’t Covid Nineteen
But just promiscuousness
Why stupid college freshmen would get mononucleosis.
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Because he was afraid a sneeze
Was signalling his end
When he began to cough and wheeze
Bad outcomes did portend.
But then the president would say
There’s one way he could win
That he should take without delay
Hydroxychloroquine!
This stupid college freshman who got mononucleosis
Was so very happy when
He heard the diagnosis:
It isn’t Covid Nineteen
But his promiscuousness
Why stupid college freshman had got mononucleosis.
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
And so in turn our randy cub to other cures would reach
Placebovir, aspirin, two parts gin one part bleach
Some steroid made from rabid bulls and extract from a peach
Not knowing the right formula, he'd take a pinch of each
This stupid college freshman who got mononucleosis
Was so very happy when
He heard the diagnosis:
It isn’t Covid Nineteen
But his promiscuousness
Why stupid college freshman had got mononucleosis.
So if you’re feeling indisposed
There's no cause to panic
The stuff oozing from lungs and nose
Don't mean you're dead, just sick
From now on just date carefully
Or it could cause you strife
‘Cause mono’s inconvenient; Covid might take your life.
Stupid college freshmen who get mononucleosis
Stupid college freshmen who get mononucleosis
Stupid college freshmen who get mononucleosis
.
A stupid college freshman who got mononucleosis
Was so very happy when
He heard the diagnosis:
It wasn’t Covid Nineteen
But just promiscuousness
Why stupid college freshmen would get mononucleosis.
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled he
Because he was afraid a sneeze
Was signalling his end
When he began to cough and wheeze
Bad outcomes did portend.
But then the president would say
There’s one way he could win
That he should take without delay
Hydroxychloroquine!
This stupid college freshman who got mononucleosis
Was so very happy when
He heard the diagnosis:
It isn’t Covid Nineteen
But his promiscuousness
Why stupid college freshman had got mononucleosis.
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
Whom did he diddle, whom diddled I
And so in turn our randy cub to other cures would reach
Placebovir, aspirin, two parts gin one part bleach
Some steroid made from rabid bulls and extract from a peach
Not knowing the right formula, he'd take a pinch of each
This stupid college freshman who got mononucleosis
Was so very happy when
He heard the diagnosis:
It isn’t Covid Nineteen
But his promiscuousness
Why stupid college freshman had got mononucleosis.
So if you’re feeling indisposed
There's no cause to panic
The stuff oozing from lungs and nose
Don't mean you're dead, just sick
From now on just date carefully
Or it could cause you strife
‘Cause mono’s inconvenient; Covid might take your life.
Stupid college freshmen who get mononucleosis
Stupid college freshmen who get mononucleosis
Stupid college freshmen who get mononucleosis
.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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CoVid-19, mono, AIDS and the clap are things you don't want and you shouldn't be messing around risking to get.
Only the few will graduate with honors - Magna Cum Naughty..........555 credits you earned, sir
The pacing is off a bit in places (e.g., "paNIC", the diddle interlude), but great idea pretty well executed for the most part. Could easily be edited up to top marks.
I always stayed away from this one, because of its high-speed delivery. You have accepted the challenge and done well by it. The comparison between the two viruses makes for some amusing moments. Liked the hydroxychloroquine reference, too. This sort of "going viral" has for centuries enticed charlatans into creating some bizarre treatments. I've done "American Pie", and the resident curmudgeon at the time didn't like it. Tried again, same result. Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, I've done a couple of times. Even essayed a "Major General". The other "Big Seven", I don't like well enough to learn them for a parody. Your comparison of reworking "Bohemian Rhapsody" to breaking a cathedral window is how I once felt about "American Pie", or a non-Big Seven favorite of mine, "Eve of Destruction".
Some things are timeless. This parody works because of its catchy alliteration! You can always count on mono as a freshman tradition..
Excellent :-)
Thanks to all who've stopped to comment here. It's a refreshing change from other recent submissions of mine that were met with a silence unbroken by even a single cricket chirp. This one has even (for now at least) escaped the baker's dozen of 1s that I had come to believe were assigned to me automatically at the time of submission. >ThrilledAre: I acknowledge my guilt syncopating 'panic', but the diddling bits I submit follow the original. (As lame as it, and mine, may be). There's another line that strictly speaking is busted too, but since you were kind enough to overlook it, I will as well.< Again, many thanks to all.
Not one to quibble, but I'd not tell a lie... You're short a little "diddle" in every line... Boomers grew up with this movie, so we tend to know stuff... Lyrics sites exist to prove that those who do not know, bluff... Check the movie on Youtube, it really isn't so tough... I'm not rude, I'm just a dude who knows his Broadway show stuff...
@ Thrilled - - I'm new here so perhaps I don't know all the rules -- I thought that I could just apply math lessons learned in school: That when the O. S. has a line precisely nine beats long, All I need to do is match the meter of that song. I'm sorry that you think I cheated you an extra ittl But in fact I don't much care, not even just a little. And it's a stretch to say the song came from a Broadway musical; Long before it hit the stage Poppins was just a movie, pal. Thanks for leaving a fun comment. But I still say the line scans correctly.
As your only legit pace and standards Nazi/tormentor, John, I must insist that you ignore whatever nano quibbles TAWC is presenting. You're doing well. No one cares if you didnt track the nonsense gibberish lyrics in Supercal perfectly. Nobody understands those lyrics in the OS either. Think of it this way .. if you were performing this parody in front of an audience, would that be a fatal error? Would the audience stand up and throw rotten cabbage at you over some mini-quibbles re "diddles?" Of course not
@CML: Sincere thanks for your encouraging message, but I would like anyone here know that I intend to give every dittle, diddy, la-la, oom-pah, shoop-shoop and doo-dah all the dignity they richly deserve. ... @Thrilled: I think I may have found what’s wrong When counting diddles in the song: You think I’ve got too few, really hardly any; Where I think they’re just right and you want far too many. I came across some lyrics sites that agree with you But if you’ll sing along with mine you’ll see my point of view. Sorry, I can’t keep this rhyming thing going any further, but if you watch the original movie it goes “um-dittle-ittl, um dittle-I”, the same structure in the line as mine. I found some lyrics quoted in websites that put an extra dittle in, but I submit to you that they’re incorrect. If you sing it you’ll find you can’t fit in another dittle; not even with a crowbar. ... And so it’s come to this — to live out my dotage counting syllables in the nonsense bridges of novelty disney jingles. The shame is soul-crushing.
It ain't that deep; the fact that it was first a film, with the appropriate clip readily available via Youtube, makes exactly my point. One needn't be a skilled musician to notice the discrepancy. I was just trying to gently point out a simple miss, and trying to do it with humor. Don't know why it had to turn into a pissing match. No worries, I still gave you a perfect score! You're amazing!
CML, care to point out what in my encouraging and gentle critique to the author was so triggering to you - a third-party, and yourself an unrepentant and tenacious pedant (if your own self-description is to be interpreted in the gentlest possible way)?
@Thrilled: Sincere thanks for your vote. I'm genuinely sorry you took offense at my reply. Perhaps trying to squeeze it into a rhymed response made it sound more snarky than intended. I readily copped to mugging the ac-CENT on pa-NIC and welcome criticism but steadfastly maintain the cadence of the subject lines are okay. If we have learned any lessons as a nation from the past month, it's the importance that diddles be counted correctly. And so, I offer my last (I promise) attempt at convincing you of the practically algebraic balance when comparing my lines with the movie version. Please read it as: original (mine). Any more diddles just don't fit. . . . . . Um (Whom) - dittle (did he) - ittl (diddle), um (whom) - dittle (diddled) - I (I)
@John Dacey, no worries - actually, the fault is entirely mine; I had misread CML's obnoxious insertion into the dialogue as your own commentary. Take care.
@Fake "ThrilledAreWe": are you in 3rd Grade? You know how IP addresses work, right? You've been reported.
@Fake "ThrilledAreWe": be a little more clever with the fakery; the moderators are not as stupid as you are.
Hey, who's calling me obnoxious; I'm not being obnoxious. If I wanna be obnoxious, I can be damn obnoxious ... altho I generally use a sock puppet
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