Favors he’ll do for rich guys
That give him many a prize
He’ll whore for you (Court you)

Bagman-famed is Uncle Thom
For swag Uncle scrapes and fawns
Shove big money up his snout
Then your cause he’s sure to tout
Harlan Crow’s stooge (Crow’s stooge)

Price is high to buy him, you gotta pay
But once you’ve paid, decisions will go your way
If you want his time you will have to pay for it

Bling and gifts he is receiving
Big biz problems he’s relieving
All you have to do is buy
Uncle Thom, then he’s your guy
And he’ll treat you

(Sounds of cash register ringing)

After you have bribed him, things go your way
But chances mighty slim that you’ll have your day
In Court, you want his time you’ll have to pay for it
Rides high in the cabin of RV bought for him

Onto your dollars he’ll glom
Gotta give him many grand
Bagman for MAGA Mammon Klan
He’s there for you