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Song Parodies -> "Born To Be Heiled"
Original Song Title:
"Born To Be Wild"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Steppenwolf
Parody Song Title:
"Born To Be Heiled"
Parody Written by:
Leo Keough
The Lyrics
Read along with the OS.
Hitler's voters shunned him
Yet he found a sly way
Snuck in to be Chancellor
In a clever cunning play
That varmint sought to make a pact and
Rule the world with a master race
Hire all of these thugs and dunces
Take over the place
Allied blokes were frightened
Ev'ry little blunder
Made it seem that winnin'
Was just futile, as he plundered
That varmint's gonna take our land and
Schtupp our girls in an ugly way
Hold all of our grunts in dungeons
Take over our trade
For his Jew hatred style
He was scorned, scorned and reviled
For a time this guy
Was never gonna die
Born to be heiled
Scorned and reviled
[Instrumental]
Got our boats a-hummin'
Headed off for D-Day
Landin' on the French shore
In an ever stunning way
That varmint says the way to act is
Scorch the earth, but is disobeyed
Hides out in a bunker hunchin'
Implodes in disgrace
With a crude natal smile
He was born, born to be heiled
Now his time is nigh
A coward's way to die
Born to be heiled
Scorned and reviled
Yet he found a sly way
Snuck in to be Chancellor
In a clever cunning play
That varmint sought to make a pact and
Rule the world with a master race
Hire all of these thugs and dunces
Take over the place
Allied blokes were frightened
Ev'ry little blunder
Made it seem that winnin'
Was just futile, as he plundered
That varmint's gonna take our land and
Schtupp our girls in an ugly way
Hold all of our grunts in dungeons
Take over our trade
For his Jew hatred style
He was scorned, scorned and reviled
For a time this guy
Was never gonna die
Born to be heiled
Scorned and reviled
[Instrumental]
Got our boats a-hummin'
Headed off for D-Day
Landin' on the French shore
In an ever stunning way
That varmint says the way to act is
Scorch the earth, but is disobeyed
Hides out in a bunker hunchin'
Implodes in disgrace
With a crude natal smile
He was born, born to be heiled
Now his time is nigh
A coward's way to die
Born to be heiled
Scorned and reviled
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I don't normally like Nazi parodies, but this was good enough for 5s straight across.
Fünfs.
Leo - Heil be doing the fünfs on this just as Sir John has. If you must do nazi then this is the way to do it. Reminds me of a story I once heard...
A man brings his grandfather clock to the local clock repair shop that a little German guy owns. The man explains that his clock has a problem and he wants it fixed. The German shop owner say - "vat iz exzackly wrong wis dis clock"? The man says "listen to it". "It used to go tick tock tick tock - now it just goes tick tick tick tick". "I want it to go tick tock tick tock again". The German shop owner says "oh, I zee, i zee". He listens and then reaches into a drawer and pulls out a flashlight. He shines the light into the face of the clock and says "Ve haf vays uf making you tock".
Brilliant performance on this write.
A man brings his grandfather clock to the local clock repair shop that a little German guy owns. The man explains that his clock has a problem and he wants it fixed. The German shop owner say - "vat iz exzackly wrong wis dis clock"? The man says "listen to it". "It used to go tick tock tick tock - now it just goes tick tick tick tick". "I want it to go tick tock tick tock again". The German shop owner says "oh, I zee, i zee". He listens and then reaches into a drawer and pulls out a flashlight. He shines the light into the face of the clock and says "Ve haf vays uf making you tock".
Brilliant performance on this write.
This took Graff Zeppelin-loads of panache and skill to so effectively deride this most heinous figure of our times.
Ja Wohl, meine herr. Es ist sehr gut. That's all the German I remember.
Somehow, I kept awaiting a comparison to Obama to show up.... What TJC said, except that with all due respect to my brilliant good friend, Stalin murdered many times the number of his own countrymen as did Hitler. However, since he was an Equal (End-of) Opportunity Murderer, he was actually supported by the Left in this country for a long time. Moral: If you're going to be a mass murderer, butcher everyone equally, without regard to race, creed. color, religion, etc.
If one reads of AH's brutally abusive childhood at the hands of a father who was an illegitimate child of a female domestic servant of a Jewish household, one begins to understand, though of course not excuse, how bigots and psychopaths are formed. Brilliant write, Leo, and loved the truth: coward's way out. 555+++
If one reads of AH's brutally abusive childhood at the hands of a father who was an illegitimate child of a female domestic servant of a Jewish household, one begins to understand, though of course not excuse, how bigots and psychopaths are formed. Brilliant write, Leo, and loved the truth: coward's way out. 555+++
Brilliant indeed, as per TT's comments.
LOL at the joke. (The cornier they are, the better I like them!) :)
It reminded *me* of another story:
A lady walks into a clock store and asks the proprietor, an older Jewish gentleman, if he could take a look at the antique mantle clock she needs to have repaired. "Oh, I'm sorry," the man replies. "I don't actually repair clocks; I perform circumcisions." Of course, the lady is puzzled. "But you have all these clocks in your window!" The man shrugs, "And what *should* I have in my window?" :D
It reminded *me* of another story:
A lady walks into a clock store and asks the proprietor, an older Jewish gentleman, if he could take a look at the antique mantle clock she needs to have repaired. "Oh, I'm sorry," the man replies. "I don't actually repair clocks; I perform circumcisions." Of course, the lady is puzzled. "But you have all these clocks in your window!" The man shrugs, "And what *should* I have in my window?" :D
I was circumcised by a clock, and there was nothing funny about it -- in fact, it was the pits!
I love time jokes and I just happen to have the time - what else would I have in my window. But take my Windows® please - the way Microsoft® tells time, who could tell?
1 for the road
A Jewish man with a terrible jock itch enters a pharmacy - He says to the pharmacist - "hey leesin - I have dis terrible jock itch can you help me with it"? The pharmacist says "why most certainly , we have a marvelously robust medicated powder that will knock that itch out in 30 seconds -- walk this way". The Jewish man replies - "Vat? If I could vawk dat vay I vouldn't need the powder.".
A Jewish man with a terrible jock itch enters a pharmacy - He says to the pharmacist - "hey leesin - I have dis terrible jock itch can you help me with it"? The pharmacist says "why most certainly , we have a marvelously robust medicated powder that will knock that itch out in 30 seconds -- walk this way". The Jewish man replies - "Vat? If I could vawk dat vay I vouldn't need the powder.".
@ EAP: Why, you Poe thing! @ Guy: LOL... "Don't forget to tip your server..."
Yu vill get fives from me on dis brilliant concept!!!
Didn't I use that joke in, un, was it, "Young Frankenstein"? .. .Walk this way... other character mimics his walk. (coulda been Monty Python)
It was probably in one of those two somewhere but I remember it from a long time ago on some stand-up comedy on the TV. It's still funny. Thanks.
Thanks all!!!
Sorry I missed the party last evening...funny jokes...LOL
Sorry I missed the party last evening...funny jokes...LOL
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