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Song Parodies -> "Born to Be White"

Original Song Title:

"Born to Be Wild"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Steppenwolf

Parody Song Title:

"Born to Be White"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

At this time of year, when we're wishing Global Warming really was something more than some commie politician's pretext to raise taxes, wistful thoughts turn to summer, including one popular summertime fad from which I am ethnically excluded.
Ultra violet parlor
Solar radiation
Natural or man-made
Epidermal degradation

No way I know to make it happen
Put that bronze glow upon my face
I just have to accept the pallor
That goes with my race

Pigment insufficient
Almost an albino
Melanin deficient
Am I gonna cry? No!

My genes are of the Emerald Island
Handed down from that distant place
My carcass is all-Caucasian
Of brown, not a trace

And like a fluorescent light
I was born, born to be white
Try as I can
Never gonna tan

Born to be white
Born to be white

(Sounds of tanning booths, sunscreen ads, waves on beach)

Polar bear complexion
Visage of vanilla
Coppertone rejection
Sunburn is a killer

Ma Nature went and made her mind up
Wasn't meant to be dark and thin
Be it ever so pale and pudgy
I'm at home in my skin

And like the moon glow at night
I was born, born to be white
To tan won't try, I don't wanna fry

Born to be white, born to be white

(Fade out)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - December 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey! I "resemble" that remark! ;D
UnKnownVotrix - December 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Folks seem to forget that the Creator did make White people . . . as well as black, brown & yellows ! Here's to the Leprechaun himself !
AFW - December 21, 2009 - Report this comment
From the title, I wasn't sure...but no race slander here...excellent writing and rhyming
Born To Be Green - October 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Why not more v/c on this? This was HILARIOUS!

Way TMGLTM, but the "Pigment" verse, esp. lines 2 and 4, were just -- perfect. "Epidermal degradation" appealed on vocab alone. 555, and protect yourself from that "red neck" -- both the occurrence and the epithet. ;)
Peregrin - October 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Agree with Green's comments above: This was very good, and well constructed. It deserves a lot more attention than it has received.
Lifeliver - October 21, 2012 - Report this comment
I followed the turtle tracks too and belatedly endorse above comments. Nice matching concept and commanding vocab. Have some 555+++ uv cream.
Meriadoc - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
I think 2009 was the perigee of Amiright apathiness; hence the low number of votes/comments. A little bird led me to this one and I was not disappointed.
Former Senator and POTUS Candidate John Edwards (D - North Carolina) - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
As a white Southerner, I too enjoyed this. But I was not at all pleased with how this "turtle" dude gave me the flipper, so to speak, with his spin on TOS.
  http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/steppenwolf33.shtml

And getting it produced and syndicated on the radio during my 2008 Primary campaign for POTUS was just another "attack ad" and nasty smear campaign by those who would besmirch my flawless reputation. As for putting the mp3 on Soundclick while my late, dear wife was dying of cancer, well -- that's just mean.
  http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11471033
Margie - September 15, 2017 - Report this comment
Hilarious parody! I always wondered why some people think that being a white person is superior while doing everything they can to darken their skin. Ah, for the day when everyone is content to be the color they were born with and content for others to be as they were born. Such a silly thing to cause such major discord in our world.

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