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Song Parodies -> "Hooker, Hooker (The Ballad of Kesha Rose Sebert)"
Original Song Title:
"Sugar, Sugar"
Original Performer:
The Archies
Parody Song Title:
"Hooker, Hooker (The Ballad of Kesha Rose Sebert)"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
No, not a sequel to my classic "Saturday Night With the Floozies." This is me joining the chorus of parodies about the loathsome Kesha Rose Sebert. "We R Who We R"? Okay, first of all, beware of all performers who use "R" for "are" and "U" for "you." Even Prince isn't funky enough to get away with that, at least not with me. Second of all, Ke$ha, we can guess what U R.
(instrumental opening)
Hooker.
Aw, yucky, yucky.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
Yucky.
Aw, hooker, hooker.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
I just can't believe that people buy these tunes from you.
(I just can't believe it's true.)
You got all this makeup, and that language, also blue.
(I just can't believe it's true.)
Aw, hooker.
Aw, yucky, yucky.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
Aw, yucky.
Aw, hooker, hooker.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
When I dissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a diss could be.
(I knew how sweet a diss could be.)
You say, "I'm a walking good time"? No, you're not to me.
(In fact, you're a monstrosity.)
Oh, hooker.
(Pour a little soap upon you, honey!)
Aw, yucky, yucky.
(Pour a little soap upon you, baby!)
Not to mention your music's schlock!
(Hey, hey, hey!)
(Pour a little soap upon you!)
Oh yeah!
Oh, hooker.
(Pour a little soap upon you, honey!)
Aw, yucky, yucky.
(Pour a little soap upon you, baby!)
Fourteen minutes of fame, "Tik Tok"!
(Pour a little soap upon you!)
Oh yeah!
Oh, yucky!
Aw, hooker, hooker!
You are a skanky girl!
And nobody's wanting you!
Oh, yucky!
Aw, hooker, hooker!
You are a skanky girl...
(instrumental fadeout)
Hooker.
Aw, yucky, yucky.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
Yucky.
Aw, hooker, hooker.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
I just can't believe that people buy these tunes from you.
(I just can't believe it's true.)
You got all this makeup, and that language, also blue.
(I just can't believe it's true.)
Aw, hooker.
Aw, yucky, yucky.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
Aw, yucky.
Aw, hooker, hooker.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.
When I dissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a diss could be.
(I knew how sweet a diss could be.)
You say, "I'm a walking good time"? No, you're not to me.
(In fact, you're a monstrosity.)
Oh, hooker.
(Pour a little soap upon you, honey!)
Aw, yucky, yucky.
(Pour a little soap upon you, baby!)
Not to mention your music's schlock!
(Hey, hey, hey!)
(Pour a little soap upon you!)
Oh yeah!
Oh, hooker.
(Pour a little soap upon you, honey!)
Aw, yucky, yucky.
(Pour a little soap upon you, baby!)
Fourteen minutes of fame, "Tik Tok"!
(Pour a little soap upon you!)
Oh yeah!
Oh, yucky!
Aw, hooker, hooker!
You are a skanky girl!
And nobody's wanting you!
Oh, yucky!
Aw, hooker, hooker!
You are a skanky girl...
(instrumental fadeout)
I realize she's a real rags-to-riches story, but does she still have to wear rags? And for all I know, she might be a nice person. But this past New Year's Eve, she went on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve," and not only did she not dress up for the occasion (she almost could have done that by accident), but she dropped an F-bomb right in front of Ryan Seacrest. No class at all.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 |
User Comments
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This parody has sure got me "hooked" ;-D "Match-up" three 5's for this song! :-)
I can't stand Ke$ha, so I agree with you on the whole "garbage chic" wardrobe revulsion as well as all that damn glitter and rainbow color insanity in her videos. Well played, 555.
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