The Lyrics

This was a fun OS to parody. No clue how I came up with the idea.

Lady Vampire (biter, biter)

I've seen the movies and I've read the books
May take me years to find - but I'm gonna look
I cruise through the alleys 'cause I have no fear
Of her drawing blood - and I wanna meet a Lady Vampire

Lady Vampire...

It's the sordid story of crazy man
Seeking afterlife - can you understand?
I know she's hungry and she likes young males
It's a bloody job - but I wanna meet a Lady Vampire

Lady Vampire...

Lady Vampire (biter, biter)

Had a thousand victims, give or take a few
Like a biting whore - she can bite me too!
I can lay her coffin and the night's her style
Still I have not found - a good place to meet a Lady Vampire

Maybe post fliers...?

Getting really desp'rate, so I spend a dime
And call 1-900 - Date A Vamp Tonight!
It did make me nervous still I had no fear
Just hope dawn don't break - right before I meet a Lady Vampire

Lady Vampire...

Lady Vampire (biter, biter)

Lady Vampire (just like Elvira)
Lady Vampire (just like Elvira)
Lady Vampire (just like Elvira)
Lady Vampire (younger Elvira)

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User Comments

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Tim Mayfield - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Funny that you want to meet a lady vampire, some say that all ladies are of the bloodsucking type (especially ex's). ;-)

alvin rhodes - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

i sank my teeth into this one

Yet Another Dutchman - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Tip: eat less garlic.

Adagio - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Liked it. : D This line made me smile for some reason..."Maybe post fliers...? " 5's

Kristof Robertson - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

"maybe post fliers?" was my fave, too. What you get up to in your spare time is YOUR business, Antman...;-) 555

John Barry - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Saw an ad last night for an Anne Rice/Elton John/Bernie Taupin musical, "Lestat." Made my blood run cold just to think about it. 5s

carol - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

three toothy 5's

Stephen aka Step-chan - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

I love it! 555 gallons of blood! =)

Rex - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

This parody sucks (and that's good). Clever idea well executed!

Michael Pacholek - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Best bloody parody of the day.

Peter Andersson - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

I'm trying to come up with a punny comment along the lines of "systolic blood pressure's still 5, I've measured it three times" or something like that, but I fail miserably, apparently no blood goes to my brain any longer tonight.

Red Ant - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanks Tim, Alvin, YAD, Pat, Kristof, John, Carol, Step-chan, Rex, Michael and Peter.

Dee Range - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment

Here's some everlasting 5's for your new everlasting life. Top notch, RA

stuart mcarthur - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment

great stuff Red - if she's gonna be a lady vampire can she please be that Kate Beckinsale one? - mroww - 555

Michael Pacholek - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment

Kate Beckinsale? Not bad, but a Triple-A version of Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Red Ant - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanks Dee, Stu and Michael- Stu, I'd have to pick CZJ over Kate.

stuart mcarthur - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment

well, yes, the "Intolerable Cruelty" CZJ will always beat Kate hands down, but the "Laurel Canyon" Kate scores the chocolates over the "Traffic" CZJ - and you've gotta admit, Kate has a sort of librarian-chic - she makes prim sexy, especially when she boldly ditches it to play a vampire......................imho

Scathe - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment

I don't know where you got this idea either, but well done.

Agrimorfee - January 13, 2006 - Report this comment

(Classic tourney) Some good lines, but quite a bit of the same words used from the OS.

Jeff Reuben - January 16, 2006 - Report this comment

Classic--creative idea, never would have thought of that. Fun read!

Larry - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment

Classic- Really cool idea. 5's

Johnny D - January 21, 2006 - Report this comment

(Classic) That IS an original idea for that original song!

Red Ant - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment

Thanks Stu, Scathe, Agrimorfee, Jeff, Larry and Johnny D.

Timmy1000 - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment

Fits well with the OS; with the current vampire craze (Twilight), this is a good time to bring this parody back from the dead.

Agrimorfee - July 16, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC) A classic.

Leo Keough - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment

ABC5(L) Fun song with a great twist at the end!!...555

Guy - July 18, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC05L)

Jack - Have you checked findlaw.com - Lawyers are always great bloodsuckers and perhaps you can find a female lawyer that would fulfill your wishes.

Frankenstein: "Hey Drac - care for a beer?
Count Dracula: - Sure but I'd prefer it if you had some "Bloodweiser" on hand.
Frankenstein: - (looking through the fridge) ah yes there is some right here.
Count Dracula: - Great - and I like their slogan.
Frankenstein: - Hows that go?
Count Dracula: - You've never seen the commercial where they say "This blood's for you"?

Below Average Dave - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment

As simple as this song was, only you can make some type of love obsession with vampire's work. . .I personally have always found vampire's perceived as sexy and raunchy in the movies, seems like my kinda crowd, very fun parody Ant

Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC) first I just want to back up everything I said about Kate Beckinsale above (since I was just about to go into it all again) - a lovely rhythm to this one Jack, and flowed really well - the scenario was a funny one too - liked it a lot mate -555

bobpiecheese - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC5) Maybe you just have an unconcious desire for death? I've always like this particular Beatles song - it's my fave actually - so it was good to see it being used. Great work here, 555!

Invisible Boy - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment

Great idea and title sub, Jack. I, errr, hope you get your wish.

Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment

Still nice...see above!

Matthias - July 25, 2009 - Report this comment

This was another horny one by you Red Ant, but the good thing about this horny parody is that you want to bang a female vampire which is a lot different from you just wanting to bang normal slutty girls. I like how you went pretty original on the topic for this song.

Vamp0SacramentoCA - July 25, 2009 - Report this comment

Sir, L'Ant Rouge, careful Sir, you just might get what you're asking for here . . . .

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