one-big-fat-bore

well, she was three-seventeen
her nose, scarred and mean
and the way it hooked
was way beyond a scare
so proud, her mustache, like my brother's (ooh)
and i saw her pantin' there

well, she...looked unclean
her size was obscene
and her arms were long
draggin' the ground occurred
looked like the aunt of my mother (ooh)
and i saw her pantin' there

well, the floor went boom
when she crossed that room
and she slapped her hand in mine

whoa, i feigned to the right
but she held me oh so tight
and her breath was strong
i felt like snubbin' her
she made me dance...how i suffered (ooh)
and i saw her pantin' there

well, i sensed my doom
should have left that room
now her hellish hand's on mine

well, i danced, filled with fright
hopin' friends would miss the sight
but before too long
my pals had got the word
now they watch me dance with this monster (ooh)
and i saw her pantin' there

oh yes, i saw her pantin' there
oh man, i saw her pantin' there