[ACT TWO]
[SCENE FOUR]

{Setting: A large ramp near the dam}

(A large crowd has gathered around the dam to watch)
(Bubba is standing on top of the ramp holding onto a shopping cart)

BUBBA
"I have to pull the most thrilling stunt known to redneck-kind!"


(George makes a cross hand gesture)

PAUL
"Dude, you don't have to do this man! I said mellow down, not go, like, Tom Cruise on our asses!"

BUBBA
"Everything you told me in that song was true Paul, I need to make a difference!"

(Paul slaps George)

PAUL
"Why did you pull out that guitar in the first place?"

(A News Van pulls up)
(A reporter comes out of the van followed by a cameraman and climb up the ramp)

NEWS REPORTER
"Hi I'm, Diane Simmons. We have gathered here at Mother Nature's Ass, where Bubba McCoy is tempting one of many extreme stunts. Bubba can you tell us a little about your first official extreme stunt?"

(BUBBA grabs the mic)

BUBBA
"I'd love to Diane. Yeh see I'm planning to ride this shopping cart down this ramp, through the burning hoop, over the pond, and land onto the soft mattress on the other side. For added danger I put gators into the pond this morning"

DIANE
"What is making you pull such an extreme feet of strength?"

BUBBA
"I dunno "bout my feet, but I need something to make me wanna live, and before this I was depressed fer a while. The thrill from this makes me feel alive. Besides this isn't the most dangerous stunt I've pulled"

DIANE
"What other things have you done?"

BUBBA
"Well, Diane. Lemme explain."

"Don't Ask Me Why"
By Cat

(BUBBA)
Took a stick of TNT
Shoved it up my butt
Then I drank some hot sauce
I glugged down a glut
Though I may regret it
You know now and the-en
I get crazy
Might be drunk enough to do it aga-ain

I got up on a lawn chair
That's strapped on a sled
Ran it down a steep hill
Fell and cracked my head
My hospital bill was real huge
A hundred bucks, and ye-et,
The next time I
Think I'll go and try it out with a je-et!

Don't ask me why, don't sneak and pry, butt out, you snoop!
On this matter, I won't give you the poop
There ain't a reason why it's done
Perhaps it's just for fun
Don't ask me why...'twon't make me die!

And even though I ate some bleach
Chopped your coat of mink
I'm perfectly sane, dear,
I don't need a shrink!
You say you'll swear off dudes
Become a lesbia-an
I know you'll be less interested
With someone who's not a ma-an

Don't ask me why, don't sob and cry, what did I do?
It's not my fault I made out with your shoe
You think I need the loony bin
Won't stick through thick and thin
Don't ask me why, don't roll that eye!

Don't ask me why, don't specify, don't give up hope
I'm a nice man, though I act like a dope
I'll even get treatment of shocks
Destroy my mental rocks
Don't ask me why...I'm just a guy!