[ACT THREE]
[SCENE FOUR]

{Setting: Mother Nature's Ass Federal Prison}

(A bell rings and Chet and Johnny are lead down the jail cafeteria by an overweight, middle-aged guard)
(Johnny and Chet go into the lunch line and get their trays filled with gray slop)
(Johnny leads them to the back of the room where his gang is sitting)

(A midget with a massive 5 o'clock shadow is smoking a cigar with his feet up on the table)

MIDGET: "Yo Johnny! Who's the new guy?"

JOHNNY: "He's just a boy named Sue"

CHET: "Actually it's Chet"

JOHNNY: "Whatever"

(Chet grabs a seat by a large gorilla looking man. To make it more ironic the man unpeels a banana)

(Johnny grabs a seat next to a woman with blonde hair, and an apron)

JOHNNY
"Everyone this is Chet, he's new here. He burned down a his bosses moonshine shack"

(Chet waves)

JOHNNY
"Chet this is Tex Spittoon, he's in here for sexual harassment"

(Johnny points to the midget)

JOHNNY
"Tank Marshal, he's in here for Jay-Walking"

(Johnny points to the large gorilla man)

JOHNNY
"And this is Martha Stewart. I forget what she's in for"

(Points to the blonde)

(A large man with a beer gut, and a Mohawk walks over to their table)

JOHNNY
"And this is Bubba"

CHET
"What's he in for"

JOHNNY
"Noise disturbance"

"Hell'va Belcher"
By Jack Wilson

(JOHNNY)
Bubba's on his big bottom
Sits on his soft couch at night
He watches NASCAR and the Blue Collar guys
And he laughs his ass off with his wife til the end
Yeah, yeah, yeah
This is when not off shooting all the raccoons
He's got a dog named Skeeter and a boy named Sue
Got a queen sized bed and he's about 35
And he has a great talent, but no he's not a great dancer

A hell'va belcher!
Hell'va belcher!
Hell'va belcher!
Yeah uh-huh
He's got a pickup truck and both red and blue
He drives really fast,might run into to you
But whenever he drinks soda out of can
Or a bottle, he burps out loud and he is proud!

He's a
Hell'va belcher!
What a belcher!
Such a belcher!
Yeah ,uh-huh
Booger ,eat your heart out!

He burps all of the day and
Even while he's fast asleep in the night-
Doesn't toss and turn
Takes his wife for a ride
Back to the subject, he won a belching contest
Yeah, yeah, yeah
All the soda bottles that went to the raccoons
He drinks all of those, then he burps for you
Tell me tell me tell me the answer
Well ya wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights!

He's a
Hell'va belcher!
What a belcher!
Such a belcher!
Yeah , huh


Bub the belcher
He's driving down fast
He burps loud
Yeah he does
Sits on his ass


*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP*

(Bubba's belch makes all of their trays of food go flying off the table and into a brick wall)

CHET
"Nice to meet, yeh, Bubba"