I read the web today oh, boy
Triple H just squashed a superstar
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
Cause it was Kevin Nash

He drove his face right to the mat
Another month without a title change
The crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen him win before
Only a small percent really knew
It's because he was banging the whore

I saw a match today oh, boy
The Big Show lumbered across the ring
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
His gut had me hooked
I'd love to turnnnnnnnn itttttt offfffff......

~Orchestra building, building, to climax~

Got up, turned off the set
Strectched my legs and scratched my head
Don't know what I saw but it sure sucked
Piper and Vince are each pushing 68
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Went outside, and that was that
There's other things to do than watch that joke
But sometimes I'd wish this was all a dream
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

I read the web today oh, boy
Four thousand missed spots by Nathan Jones
And though the spots were rather small
We had to watch them all
Now we know how many spots
It takes to make Hogan look good
I'd love to turnnnnnnnnn itttttttt offffffffff....

~Orchestra building, building, to climax~
~Hold last note for 40 seconds~
~Break to Nipple H's screeching to annoy the dogs~
~End with inaudible chatter, most likely from last booking meeting~