Song Parodies -> "You Never Divvy Your Profits"

Original Song Title:

"You Never Give Me Your Money"

Original Performer:

"You Never Divvy Your Profits"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Prequel to the Oil King Medley. Divvy = divide.

WORKER:
You never divvy your profits;
You only pay me a wage starvation,
And if I ever needed hosp’t’lization,
You’d bail out.

CEO:
I never wanted your unions.
You only want to tax corporations.
I’ll source your job out to a cheaper nation;
I’ll bail out.

RECENT GRADUATE:
Out of college, found no job.
Student loan’s due; interests rob.
Rental prices rose;
I’ll stay at home.
Credit cards put me in debt.
Living wages I can’t get.
Independence blows;
I’ll stay at home.
For, oh, parental shielding!
I’ll stay at home.
Oh, parental shielding!
I’ll stay at home.
I’ll stay at home!

PARENTS:
Nooooooooooooooo…
Nooooooooooooooo…

(instrumental break)

MOST WORKING OR UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS:
U.S. Dream:
Work very hard, become everything you scheme!
Now our work’s outsourced from here:
Downsizing, mergers, pay raise years away!
U.S. Dream’s
Been smashed today.
Been crushed today.
Been blown today—yes, it has!
Aiee, aiee, ai-ai-ai-aiee!

EVERYONE:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7—
Gall’n of gas costs four-eleven!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7—
Gall’n of gas costs four-eleven!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7—
Gall’n of gas costs four-eleven!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7—
Gall’n of gas costs four-eleven…!

(repeat until fade into “Oil King Medley”)

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Steve K. - May 08, 2008 - Report this comment

Actually, the oil companies DO divvy up their profits - by sending 35% to the federal government in the form of taxes (plus a few more percent to state governments), which is one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world. And you lefties wonder why jobs get outsourced.

John Jenkins - May 09, 2008 - Report this comment

What Steve K said, plus profits are also divvied through dividends and increasing stock prices; so, as more and more employees own 401K plans, they benefit from their employers' profitability.

Christie Marie M - October 26, 2008 - Report this comment

This parody is genius! I love reading parodies based upon current events! I one of the many people in this world who's struggling to hold a job because the only kind of jobs I had been doing lately are temp jobs. But I get by very well. Good show, Melanie!!! 555!!

Matthias - December 05, 2009 - Report this comment

I'm not one for political parodies nor to be quite truthful the Beatles (They've just been done too many times) but this was a pretty good satire on what's been going on in the world lately.

Mark Scotti - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC) Really great concept, and right on the money(or rather NO MONEY!!!)

Agrimorfee - December 14, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC) Well done indeed, like Mark sez.

DJ Blaze - December 14, 2009 - Report this comment

Once again, I have been blown away by another economical spleen vent. Loved the different singers in this! 555

Jack Wilson - December 14, 2009 - Report this comment

Great job, 5s

Below Average Dave - December 15, 2009 - Report this comment

If only this weren't true. Obviously 'funny' wasn't the big aim here, 100% agree with your view point on this Mel. . .555, I replaced funny with intent for my grading

Leo Keough - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment

ABC5(XYZ) Sums it all up in a nutshell!!!...Great concept, great pacing and rhyming, and the lines for the parents had me howling with laughter!!!...555!!!

Red Ant - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Paying taxes is profit-sharing? Anyway, pretty good parody here, Melanie. I'd share some 5 with you, but as the CEO of Widgits, Inc, I only make 80 million a year and can't afford to give any of that away. 8>)

bobpiecheese - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC5) I thought the American dream was to get all the money in the world, stick it in your ears and go "thbbbbbt". Eddie Izzard aside, I'm also not one for political parodies, because I never understand 'em. I also DKTOS, so, uh...look, MONKEYS! (runs off)

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