I read the News today, oh boy.
I raise the taxes again, oh great.
And though the News were really good.
I just had to laugh,
I saw the Photograph.

Someone blew his mind out in a car.
It was the other candidate.
A Crowd of reporters stood and wrote.
They'd make him bad before,
Nobody was really sure if he committed Suicide.

I saw a Film today, oh Boy.
How the US-Army could win the War.
I stand up and applauded.
But the President just said:
"Why don´t we take the atom bomb?"
Please, elect me.

Woke up, fell out of Bed,
dragged a Comb across my head.
Found my Way downstairs and drank a Cup.
I looking up, I noticed I was late.
Found my Notes and grabbed my Hat,
made the Lexus in Seconds flat.
Found my Way upstairs
and said "Don't smoke!"
Somebody spoke and said "You're corrupt!"
No!

I read the Vote results today, oh boy.
Four Thousand Votes for the Democrats.
And so I became two-foot small.
I'm sad, because I had to count them all.
Now I know how many Votes it takes to fill a bowl.
Please, elect me.