Picture yourself in the back of the classroom,
Writing love notes to a charming young gal.
Teacher then sees you and you’re in big trouble,
It’s time that you throw in the towel.

She wants to read your note to the whole class
Swearing to put you away.
You then decide that you’ll swallow the note
And it’s gone.

Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine,
Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine,
Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine, ah.

Choking on pride and set back by the quagmire,
Where puppy-love children do share Snickers Bars.
Everyone laughs as you digest your novel,
You wished you were landing on Mars.

Ink indigestion is coming up slow
Forty-nine cent Bic betrayed.
Detention bound with your head on the desk
And you hurl.

Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine,
Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine,
Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine, ah.

Picture yourself getting even with teacher,
By loosening bolts on the legs of her chair.
Suddenly she sits and falls to the chalkboard,
The whitened dust pummels her hair.

Teacher on the floor with chalk dust,
Rolling on the floor she did thrust,
She then looked at me and then cussed, nya nya.

That’ll teach this broad a lesson,
No longer with me she’s messin’,
My gal now with me impressin’, ah.

Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine,
Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine,
Loose-leaf paper high in thiamine, ah.