The Lyrics

I'll be getting married in 12 days. Haven't felt like writing parodies for a long-long time, then I started thinking about all the things that have changed in the past 2 years, and got inspired. I write more about the negative stuff because it's funnier, but really I'm super excited about these next several adventures in my life. I love my lady and she loves me :c). In addition to getting married, we bought a house recently, hence all the maintenance work. Hope you all enjoy.

He take out garbage, then he loosing at board games
Then he bam-bam fix stuff and he paint with rollers
He got stress all inside his brain
Got to be a joker just to deal with the strain

He wear nice shoe now he got ‘fashion senses’
He got ring on finger now has no defenses
He say “I feel good, with sound mind,
But I need some help, I think I misplaced my spine”
Always-wrong-man, sit down, have cookie

He bag and rake leaves, he got trips to grocer
But he always screws up, so he brings a list now
He got feet down below his ass
Holds her in his arms until he can’t feel his cash
Always-wrong-man, now shake, have cookie

Big roller-coaster, always early mornings
Wipe his muddy feet off, he got no opinions
He say “One and one and one is two”
Got to be good doggy and do what told to do
Always-wrong-man, sit down, have cookie

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User Comments

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Claude Prez - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Well, first of all, congratulations. I gotta say, you've really captured the scary negative parts of marriage; I'd quote the parts that I can totally relate to, but it would be literally the entire thing. I've been married for 18 years to a teacher, by the way, and it is definitely worth it. I mean, because of the huge trust fund, of course. Without that, no way in hell do we make it a year. Kidding, of course. Anyway, great stuff, and great to see you around here again. And remember: All You Need Is Luck.

Glen S - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Hah. Thanks Claude. I'm marrying a teacher myself (music teacher, working with 6th grade band now). What does your wife teach? And thanks for the congrats, I'll remember your words of wisdom.

Claude Prez - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

My wife teaches second grade. And every year there's always ONE kid whose parents I'd like to beat the crap out of, because their kid doesn't get that when he's at school, he's not allowed to do whatever the hell he wants. And so I have to hear about this ONE kid all freaking year long, until finally, right around the end of April when there's just a few weeks of school left, he figures out that he's dealing with probably the only teacher he'll ever have who won't give in to him. But it's not frustrating or anything, oh lord no. Anyway, I really do wish you all the best, you're a good guy. Oh, and I think I forgot to mention this parody was really funny.

Matthias - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

I was engaged once... For a day... Interesting story so interesting in fact that Emiloca wrote a song about it. Congrats on you're real marriage (hope it turns out better than my fake one).

Michael Pacholek - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Think of it this way: There's something that rhymes with cookie, and (despite my furry blue friend's protests) marriage is a pretty good way to get it.

Glen S - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks for the well wishes Matt and Mike. and thanks for stopping by. Its good to see familiar text posts. Mike, I think Limp Bizkit wrote a song to the same effect. That's how they getcha. wonder if this still works I know EXACTLY what you mean Claude. Teachers want to do right by students, students don't know everything and need to be 'schooled', and that's all well and good. But if the student doesn't listen, and NOBODY reinforces the teacher (principle, or, god forbid, PARENTS), then the teachers caught fighting an uphill-losing battle. And you're a good guy too. Thanks man.

Old Man Ribber - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Glen - The same best wishes. I taught 6th, 7th, and 8th grade band for 34 years. With a wit and gift of words like yours, you'll make her life bearable on the the bad days. And with a bandmaster in the house, you'll never be lacking material for your work. ;D

Glen S - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks Old Man Ribber. 34 years, wow man, my hat's off to you. How'd you deal with all those kids? Thanks for the complements and well wishes.

Blaydeman - May 12, 2011 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Nice work 2nz, being as young as I am, I ahven't really had any ventures in this area yet, but the comedy transcends so I can understand it. Great job, really funny!

Peter Andersson - May 15, 2011 - Report this comment

I was gonna make a marriage joke around the 5 Vs here but then I realised it's a purely Swedish thing so I'm just giving you three Vs as in three 5s.

BTW, the five Vs = Villa, Volvo, Vovve, Välling and VAB-dagar = House, Car, Dog, Gruel and Child Related Sick Leave - told you it wouldn't work in English. ;-)

Glen S - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks for the support and the kind words Blaydeman. You'll get there one day, but no rush. ANd I still enjoyed how different our terms are Peter. Valling is food, or is it specifically 'GRUEL', because that would be awesome. Thanks for the Swedish joke translation.

Wild Child JIN - May 18, 2011 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Take it from someone who is right, about someone who is wrong, from someone who can't go wrong, and knows how to "right" parodies! :-D Excellent Work 2nz! 5's :-)

Abbott Skelding - May 19, 2011 - Report this comment

SOTM: Excellent job! I love the "being a good doggy" lines and I literally laughed out loud at the "I think I've misplaced my spine" line. Great work!

Jeff Reuben - May 19, 2011 - Report this comment

Yes, congratulations! I can't wait to sing at your wedding in 12 days. What, I wasn't invited? Dang! Anyway, excellent song, lots of great lines.

bobpiecheese - May 30, 2011 - Report this comment

(SOTM) A great parody of my favourite Beatles song, well done! A lotta great lines in here, but for some reasons it's the "have cookie" line that absolutely slays me...maybe it's cuz cookie is an inherently funny word. Like toejam, or juju, or walrus. 555 wedding vows for you!

Porfle Popnecker - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks for making me feel better about not being married!

Mark Scotti - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment

(abc)congrats! I've been married over 27 years and I can tell you there are more positives than negatives(but you are right, the negatives mak MUCH funnier parody)

Agrimorfee - February 24, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) You hit quite a few nails right squarely on the head here. Lennon I think would have approved, too.

Blaydeman - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) See Above ^^^^

Abbott Skelding - March 02, 2012 - Report this comment

^See Above, still a great spoof!

bobpiecheese - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) See above!

D-Mon - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) I disagree, you should be "Always Write Man"! Because you always write great parodies!

Matthias - March 15, 2012 - Report this comment

See above. This is brilliant. I especially loved the line: "He got feet down below his ass" just because it was hilarious and worked with with the stupid OS.

Meriadoc - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment

Liked the part about bringing the list, and one and one and one is two... :)

brightCAP - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment

Something about your phrasing makes this work so well! My favorite line is "Got to be good doggy and do what told to do"

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