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Song Parodies -> "Help! (I'm Hoarding Music)"

Original Song Title:

"Help!"

Original Performer:

"Help! (I'm Hoarding Music)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Help!
I'm hoarding music
Help!
Not just any music
Help!
You know I'm hoarding it
Heeelp!

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never hoarded so much music, not in any way
But now those days are gone, my hard drive's really full
And I decline, to leave behind, "The Best of Jethro Tull"

Help me if you can, I'm having fits
I've accumulated U2's greatest hits
Look, there's Taco's "Puttin' On the Ritz"
Won't you please, please help me

And now my music files are filled with so much junk
You'll find your favorites by the Bee Gees and Grand Funk
But even now I just can't stop downloading more
I know I'm nuts, I hate your guts--it's all your fault, Al Gore

Help me if you can, I really need
Just to find a way to stop collecting Creed
Oh my god, I'm downloading Blue Swede
Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I didn't own a single song by Bjork or Sugar Ray
But now I have them all, with so much more to get
And every track, by Nickelback, I'll own those suckers yet

Help me if you can, to wipe out Styx
I can't make myself delete the Dixie Chicks
Help me rid my playlist of The Fixx
Won't you please, please help me
Help me, help meeeeee, oooooh.

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Old Man Ribber - August 19, 2011 - Report this comment

Porfle - Good parody and a super concept.. Let me know when you want to dump your Spike Jones files. ;D

Mr. 8-track - August 19, 2011 - Report this comment

With iPods that now hold up to 160 gigabytes, hoarding music is apparently encouraged now. Getcha some Icehouse or Three Dog Night!

Patrick - August 19, 2011 - Report this comment

I hoard my music on 45 rpms and LP's. Do you realize how much space that takes? You could probably put the equivalent of my collection into something that would fit in a shirt pocket.

Peter Andersson - August 20, 2011 - Report this comment

I think you'll be hoarding 5s for this one and I'm with OMR, super concept! :-)

Glen S - December 20, 2011 - Report this comment

Haha. Great concept and very funny execution.

Porfle Popnecker - December 20, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks Glen, it's nice to see someone reading one of my older ones. And thanks to everyone else for their comments.

Matthias - April 18, 2012 - Report this comment

This was great at first I was worried that you were going to pull too much from the original song but it worked out expertly. This was a really creative and original concept and a lot of fun to read (and to parody... My version if it is coming tomorrow)

Porfle Popnecker - April 18, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks a lot! Looking forward to yours.

Mark Scotti - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) I LOVE this song. Great concept. It's a very good song for cleverness to psrody to(I've done 2 of them). Hope you are hording fives!

Porfle Popnecker - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks, I love your comment!

Agrimorfee - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment

Ripping you a torrent of 5s...just dont tell anyone, Ok?

Porfle Popnecker - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment

I'll hoard it all to myself.

bobpiecheese - April 27, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) I have a similar problem, though I keep it to bands I like. Great parody here, Porfle, short but sweet. 555! Also: Taco's Puttin' On The Ritz is awesome.

Porfle Popnecker - April 27, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks! I'll have to take your word for Taco being awesome.

Blaydeman - April 29, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) I do that too. But it's not a problem... No really it's not a problem. GET OFF MY BACK! LOL!

Porfle Popnecker - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment

I just keep telling myself that people who DON'T obsessively horde music are the ones with the problem.

D-Mon - May 01, 2012 - Report this comment

(ABC) Then I have a problem. I'm really picky about what music I put on my Ipod. But I totally get it, cuz I have a brother (^^^) who does. So, I really liked it!

Porfle Popnecker - May 02, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks! Actually, my own music hoarding days ended after Napster went away.

Abbott Skelding - May 03, 2012 - Report this comment

Nice work! I love the OS and I really liked the Nickelback line (you see it's funny, because no one in their right mind would own a mass amount of Nickelback songs...haha) Great job!

Porfle Popnecker - May 03, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks! I'm not in my right mind, and I don't own any Nickelback songs either!

Meriadoc - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment

I swear I voted and commented on this before - I certainly recall reading it. Don't forget to add some Partridge Family and Tiny Tim while you are at it.

brightCAP - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment

My favorite line is "I know I'm nuts, I hate your guts--it's all your fault, Al Gore "

SammiSquackett - April 05, 2022 - Report this comment

This is my life right now. At least since late 2020/early 2021. Especially now, since I am into classic prog, I am buying a lot of Genesis, Yes, and Emerson Lake and Palmer CD's, and ripping them to put on my computer, which in turn I put on my phone and iPods. Not to mention, I've also found some cool tunes while completing my colored iPod collection!

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