She was alone, I was away
I didn't know what she was doing
Another house, another guy
Who maybe secretly she's wooing

Ooh, then it suddenly struck me
Ooh, she was trying to duck me
Every single day that I'm gone

And so I hired a private eye
To ascertain where she was going
He'd take some photos to reveal
Who she was biblically knowing

Ooh, do I want to discover
Ooh, if she's found a new lover
Every single way to be found

Got to put a tail on my wife

He followed her until she turned
Into a shopping mall on main street
And in a shop, she had a job
Where she was clipping nails on strange feet

Ooh, and the money she's making
Ooh, is to pay for the baking
Of my forty-layer birthday cake

Got to put a tail on my wife
Got to put a tail on my wife

She was alone, I was away
I didn't know what she was doing
Another house, another guy
Who maybe secretly she's wooing

And then suddenly it struck me
She was trying to duck me
Every single day...