Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Newt Who's Loco"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of John and Yoko"

Original Performer:

"The Ballad of Newt Who's Loco"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Weren't his 15 minutes of fame up 15 years ago? And now he's the GOP frontrunner-of-the-month? If he gets the nomination, Obama can go on vacation until the Convention, and then go on another one until the debates, and still slaughter him!

(instrumental opening)

Shaped like Henry-Eighth at Court, Hampton.
Doesn't like the debt-plans of France.
Shaped like a Big Mac.
Always goes on the attack.
Why are we giving this guy another chance?

Newt! You know he's so sleazy.
You know how bad he can be.
The way things are going
he's gonna stupefy me.

Polling well in Gallup and Harris.
Rasmussen is saying the same.
Rush Limbaugh called to say,
"You can make it okay
if you talk like Franco once did in Spain."

Newt! You know he's so sleazy.
You know how bad he can be.
The way things are going
he's gonna stupefy me.

Flew from Iowa to Hotel New Hampshire.
Talked out of his head for a week.
The newspeople said,
"About your first wife, in bed?"
He said, "With cancer, she could not make me peak!"

Newt! You know he's so sleazy.
You know how bad he can be.
The way things are going
he's gonna stupefy me.

Saving all his money for a rainy day.
Spent on third wife down at Tiffany.
Last wife, his wife said
(the second that he'd shed),
"He left me there with nothing but my soul!"
Fink!

Made a frightening trip to Trump Tower.
Thinks he's now got it in the bag.
The newspeople said,
"The birthers got in his head!"
He still thinks Hillary is a slag!

Newt! You know he's so sleazy.
You know how bad he can be.
The way things are going
he's gonna stupefy me.

Couldn't out-campaign Billy Clinton.
Now he's gonna challenge Barack?
The men from the press
said, "You won't have success.
You lunatic, should not have come back!"

Newt! You know he's so sleazy!
You know how bad he can be!
The way things are going
he's gonna stupefy me!

The way things are going
he's gonna stupefy me!

(instrumental close)

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Omassacre - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Obama would rather debate Rick "Oops" Perry. That ain't gonna happen. He will get his @$$ kicked if it's Newt. The savvy career politician would school the community organizer/do-nothing senator/worst POTUS ever. Remember Benson/Quayle? Cheney/Edwards? McCain had no record to attack in 2008. Unleashing Newt on Obamas record would be like Mike Tyson on Marvis Frazier.

John Barry - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Romney should have this recorded and use it in a campaign ad. I hear that Newt prefers the TIFF format to JPEG.

Patrick - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Even as a Republican I'm less than enthusiastic about Newt Gingrich. And anyone else in the current line-up except the unelectable Ron Paul. 2012 is shaping up to be a disaster. Just an hour ago five helicopters flew over the office where I work, taking the President to a speech in Osawatomie, Kansas. Quite impressive.

Johnny D (a.k.a. The Comedian) - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Obi-Wan Pachobi is writing
Parodies 'bout Gingrich The Grinch
He's on the attack!
Maybe Newt will fight back,
with a party on a yacht with some Pinch!
Mike, you know it's not easy
To fight The Powers That Be
But The Force is with you,
Oh Obi-Wan Pachobi!

LilCupCakes - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

. . . Big G's wifes that over lap . . . many more than the Morman candidates!! The LSD's are looking better all the time! I repeat, good job, Obi-One-Pacholi . . . but do take it easy on the Stoli, Sir !

Old Man Ribber - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Michael - Respect and good scores for your art. Pelosi may have given Newt a priceless gift by threatening to release "the dirt" on Newt's ethics investigation. NOTHING could have united G.O.P. voters more. Patrick - Osawatomie, eh? Perhaps he'll try to tie John Brown to class warfare. ;D

Phil N - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment

Just using this opportunity to say that any comments that the Wiser/Woser thought was from me actually weren't, a lot of people have been using this computer lately and I always sign my own name to everything I write. I also do not vote 1's on anything. Among my college acquaintances, amiright's a popular site and we had a lot of visitors over the past two days, some using the computer. A lot of those people don't know me. Sorry about anything anyone else wrote, I will not allow this computer to be used by others again.

Phil N - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

And all I ask of you authors and readers is to not believe anything the Wiser/Woser says about me. I am a longtime trusted parody author on the site, have nothing but respect for fellow authors, and would never do anything he says I've done. He's just a crazy commenter with an ax to grind.

The Wiser - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

You are discredited.

Phil N - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

Who are you and what do you have against me and why do you want me off the site? Again, everyone, don't believe him. I will no longer comment at all, sorry for commenting on parodies today but had to clear my name. I can't imagine how someone I don't even know could hate me so much.

Michael Pacholek - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

Omassacre: You're an idiot. Obama will keep his cool, Newt doesn't have any less to lose, and by the way, it was Larry Holmes who destroyed Marvis Frazier, not Tyson! Damn, if you can't even get THAT right, get out of here, ya bum! As for Phil N, I don't know what the issue is, but, being a liberal, I know how much right-wingers can hate someone.

Phil N - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks. Guess he's a rightwinger. BTW, I've liked these parodies on the Republican candidates, really good. They really are all awful.

Phil N - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

awful candidates, that is

Boxing Fan @ Michael Pacholek - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment

Holmes TKO'd Frazier 2 minutes into the first round in 1983. Tyson KO'd him in under 20 seconds of the first round in 1986.

Omassacre - December 09, 2011 - Report this comment

Well look who the bum is. MP, you are the IDIOT! Brush up on your boxing history. Speaking of history, that's what Obasturd will be after next Nov. He should take his fake birth certificate and go back to Kenya.

Michael Pacholek - December 26, 2011 - Report this comment

The fact that you're comparing Newt Gingrich to Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist, proves YOU are the idiot, Omassacre. Still think your fascist party has a chance against the man who just brought John Boehner to heel... AND killed Osama bin Laden?

Omassacre - December 27, 2011 - Report this comment

Whoever gets the nom, Gingrich, Romney, Paul, will open a can of old fashioned whupass on Obasturd. Like the beat down Tyson gave Frazier. Because of the unemployment rate, which will go back up above 9% again next year. Because of the added 5 trillion of debt added to make it 15 trillion now. Because of the class and race war this inept administration propagates. Because the criminal acts of Eric Holders ATF lackies. Because the majority of voters want Obasturdcare repealed. These are a few reasons the worst POTUS in history will be a one termer. Look at it this way, after next November, your buddy William Tong will be back in business.

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