Steady Eddie, you’re pleased as punch
That thermo-nu-cle-ar’s for lunch
That thermo-nu-cle-ar’s for LUNCH
Steady Eddie, oh, we played a hunch

Steady Eddie, you broke the ship,
You hung us out to make some tea,
YOU HUNG US OUT TO MAKE SOME TEAAAAA
Steady Eddie, oh, you broke the ship

You cheery jerk, the crew is waiting, you they’re hating
You’re great idea to turn on man-u-al
Steady Eddie, that annoying, cloying voice, Steady Eddie.
Just shut yer TRAP
The crew is angry, just at you,
The crew is angry, just at you,
Steady Eddie.
Oh, go Zark the Off

Steady Eddie,
You'll get us killed
However nice you try to be
You dumb device, shut up now PLEASE
Steady Eddie,
Oh, you'll get us killed

He gives you happy, dumb, advice just ‘cause that’s how he’s programmed
Just a button to turn off all his crap
Steady Eddie, he’s the super-duper-pooper of computers, most of all.