They are sweet and so petite with little feet and they are all together
But see how they run, they think I'm no fun 'cause I'm a fat guy
No fryin'
Eating my salad plate, waiting for Jenny Craig to come
Size Triple X T-shirt, eating since Tuesday
Hey, you've been a naughty boy, you gained another pound!
I am a big man, I am the Pigman, I am enormous
Scooby-dooby-doo
See the little shifty little policeman, really nifty, standing by the road
This here guy gives me a citation for truck overload
No fryin', I'm dyin', no fryin'
Goopy yellow custard dripping from a pudding pie
Ham and cheese omelet, twice-baked potatoes
Kid, you've been a naughty boy, you let your pants sag down!
I'm shaped like an eggplant, I am a giant, I am enormous
Scooby-dooby-doo
Sitting in an English garden blocking out the sun
If you thought it was an eclipse, that was just me standing in the way
I am a big man, I am the Pigman, I am enormous
Scooby-dooby-doo
Diet expert? Shmyet Shmexpert!
I think the joke is on you
See how they smile, such patronizing guile, now it ain't right
No fryin'
In the elevator climbing up the Eiffel Tower
We get up the first floor, the guide opens up the door,
And says, "Monsieur, get off, you are making us tres slow!"
I'm shaped like an eggplant, but much more of a giant
I am enormous
Scooby-dooby-dooby-doo
(Oompa loompa, the scales will jump-a)
(Hoo-ha,hoo-ha, everybody weighs a ton) (etc.)