Tiny piece of colored glass
Very strange place to be born, she
Lots of golds and reds and yellow
Pretty colors of the dawn
Later, comes the night
Cloak of purple, slight
Adding velvet to the sky

Yes, Jersey is my fav'rite city   [1]
(But not New Jersey; not so pretty)   [2]
Once, the Vikings swarm   [3]
Later, part of Norm-andy   [4]
Jer-sey: for milk, well-known
Jer-sey: potatoes grown
Jer-sey: You need a loan? Alright!
Island with a lot of banks offshore   [5]

Watch the seagulls as they soar
(Strange: reminded: Barb'ra Hershey)   [6]
Little island: one of richest   [7]
Click: they'll ship your stuff your way   [8]
Their beef makes many glad
(So long as cow ain't mad)   [9]
Yes, Jersey's dairy: finest kind!

A hundred miles south of Britain
In Channel, close to France, it's sittin'   [10]
They don't charge the VAT   [11]
You'll pay less for that, whoopee!
Jer-sey: prints its own "bread"   [12]
Jer-sey: folks widely spread   [13]
Jer:sey: Diverse religion? Right!   [14]
Tourists finding Jersey's quite a find!   [15]

And so, thus ends our little ditty
Both Donnie's song and Jersey: pretty
Wish I could visit - what a pity!

(fade)



[1] "Bailiwick", actually. And an island, actually. Just homage to TOS "city" here.

[2] Naturally, no offense intended to any residents of the fine US State of New Jersey, despite its many -- n/m. Visit one; visit the other, then you be the judge. :-) ... Fact: In recognition for help given to him during his exile in Jersey in the 1640s, Charles II gave George Carteret, bailiff and governor of Jersey, a large grant of land in the American colonies, which he promptly named New Jersey. (And it's been downhill ever since -- kidding! ;)

[3] Invaded by the Vikings in the ninth century.

[4] In 933, the island was annexed to the Duchy of Normandy by William Longsword, Duke of Normandy. In 1066, the Duchy of Normandy and the Kingdom of England became governed under one monarch, though no one knows quite why. Some historians believe that William's (illegitimate) grandson, who was also named William, had something to do with that.


[5]
Not a lot to work with in Donovan's "Jersey Thursday". Second verse is only a repeat of the first verse. Pretty much covered the entire Donovan song in the first verse of the parody -- the bane of smooshers, when the two songs are greatly dissimilar in length or amount of content. Hence, decided on expository smoosh of a place little-known to most Americans, including yours truly. Fascinating!

Jersey is a "tax haven", attracting deposits from other countries; hence, financial services contribute heavily to the island's economy. .... Reminiscent to moi of the Cayman Islands (which are just south of Cuba, an hour by air from Florida, and known for breeding turtles to release into the wild, as well as for excellent scuba diving -- sorry for the digression), another "offshore tax haven".


[6] Award-winning actor Barbara Hershey's career suffered when she changed her name to "Barbara Seagull". TT thought at the time that it was a tribute to the novel, "Jonathan Livingston Seagull", published at about the same time, but apparently, it had more to do with an incident with a bird while filming a movie. She reverted to her original *stage* name (born Barbara Lynn Herzstein) of "Hershey" by 1976. ... Song reference is to "Jersey Thursday"'s references to the gulls "wheeling and spinning".

[7] Having a very small population, and specializing in high-return sectors, the island has one of the highest per-capita incomes in the world -- estimated at USD $57,000 in 2005. Surpassed only by two other very small nations, for similar reasons: Bermuda and Luxembourg.

[8] Order-fulfillment is another significant business, such as for Internet-based vendors. Hey, why not do it from a tax haven?

[9] In addition to high-quality milk and cream, the island's beef is recognized for quality, though perhaps not as widely.

[10] Fourteen miles from the closest part of Normandy, France. Largest and southernmost of the Channel Islands.


[11]
Jersey does not charge the "Value-Added Tax", or "VAT" upon manufacturers, wholesalers, etc. that is charged by most nations in Europe, and some elsewhere. (For our non-US readers, most US states levy a sales tax on the end-purchaser only.) Another reason for fulfilling Internet orders there and conducting other trade. ... The following statement from Wikipedia was either unintentionally funny, or added by an editor with a sense of humor:

"The absence of VAT has also led to the growth of the fulfilment industry, whereby low-value luxury items, such as videos, lingerie and contact lenses are exported,"

Wow, what a plan for a perfect evening! Just slip in your contact lenses and watch the video as M'Lady slips into the lingerie.... ; )
(geek-note: "fulfilment", with one "L", is a UK spelling.)


[12] Jersey issues its own Jersey banknotes and coins, which circulate along with UK coinage, Bank of England notes, Scottish notes and Guernsey currency within the island. Jersey currency is not legal tender outside Jersey. However, in the United Kingdom it can be surrendered at banks within that country in exchange for Bank of England-issued currency on a like-for-like basis. ... (Trying to explain the somewhat-internationally-independent status of the island while it remains a "Crown Dependency" would quadruple the length of these footnotes. Wow, those Brits surely know how to make things complicated... )

[13] About 90,000 population, which would be a small-ish town in the US, and 45 square miles of land (116 sq. km), about twice the size of New York's Manhattan Island, which has about 1.6 million residents. About half of Jersey residents were born elsewhere, mostly of British/Irish descent, a few French, and about 6% Portuguese, for some reason.


[14]
Another Wikipedian with a sense of humor, irony, or density: "Religion in Jersey has a complex history and much diversity. The established church is the Church of England. In the countryside, Methodism found its traditional stronghold. A minority of Roman Catholics can also be found in Jersey."

Wow, that pretty much covers the world's religions... Imagine that: Three different varieties of Christianity in one country! How much more diverse can you get? **

** (It's a small and closely-knit community. Not knocking the residents or their religion, just the description in WP as "diverse" - sheesh! ;)


[15] Tourism is another major economic factor. About 750,000 visitors a year, which is about eight times the total population of the country.
(That would be like the US having 2.5 *billion* visitors a year, which is more than a third of the people on the planet.)
The duty-free shopping (see note [11] is undoubtedly attractive to those nearby. Also some historic castles, going back almost a thousand years, and the countryside and hilly shoreline look very nice.