Something in the eyes
Of the stranger
Tells the deputy
That there's danger
Though Andy cannot see
And neither can Aunt Bee
Load slowly the bullet of Fife

Noticing a face
From a poster
Barney draws his gun
From its holster
Trembling but numb
While swallowing his gum
Load slowly the bullet of Fife

So frisk everybody
At checkpoints today
So frisk everybody
At checkpoints today

Walking Thelma Lou
From the big dance
This is Barney's cue
For some romance
But even in her yard
He never drops his guard
Load slowly the bullet of Fife

Somewhere there's a still
Making moonshine
Somewhere chicken thieves
Cross the wrong line
When crime is running free
Corrupting Mayberry
Load slowly the bullet of Fife