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Song Parodies -> "Little Bit Of COBOL"
Original Song Title:
"Little Bit Of Soul"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Music Explosion
Parody Song Title:
"Little Bit Of COBOL"
Parody Written by:
Tim K.
The Lyrics
The joys of late-night programming...
Now when C is too slow and Java takes all night
You need a little bit o' COBOL to put things right
You gotta code with classes & loops that way
And then a little bit o' COBOL will save the day
Now when BASIC won't work & your If's aren't 'True'
You need a little bit o' COBOL to see you through
And when you raise the roof with your Fortran, oh
You'll get a lot more kicks with a little bit o' COBOL
And when your program faults 'cause your statements aren't proven
A little bit o' COBOL and it really starts movin', yeah
And when your code's a mess and you feel like cryin'
Just remember this little song of mine
And as you program in Delphi tryin' to reach your goal
Just remember what I said about a little bit o' COBOL
A little bit o' COBOL, yeah (a little bit o' COBOL)....
You need a little bit o' COBOL to put things right
You gotta code with classes & loops that way
And then a little bit o' COBOL will save the day
Now when BASIC won't work & your If's aren't 'True'
You need a little bit o' COBOL to see you through
And when you raise the roof with your Fortran, oh
You'll get a lot more kicks with a little bit o' COBOL
And when your program faults 'cause your statements aren't proven
A little bit o' COBOL and it really starts movin', yeah
And when your code's a mess and you feel like cryin'
Just remember this little song of mine
And as you program in Delphi tryin' to reach your goal
Just remember what I said about a little bit o' COBOL
A little bit o' COBOL, yeah (a little bit o' COBOL)....
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
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| 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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Tim - Well done, I'm sprouting you on the slight pace problem with COBOL versus SOLE and fiving it anyway. I wrote my first COBOL program circa 1970 in school using paper tape input on a dial up remote teletypewriter, with a real phone dial.. What took me several months to accomplish could now be done in an afternoon using something like Notepad. Do you write code for a living?
IF MDATE = "12/25/03" PERFORM MERRY CHRISTMAS THRU SCORE.
RETURN. AND IF P-PACE=5 AND P-FUNNY=5 AND P-OVERALL=.5
WRITE SCORE TOTAL TO SCORE TALLY.
IF MDATE = "12/25/03" PERFORM MERRY CHRISTMAS THRU SCORE.
RETURN. AND IF P-PACE=5 AND P-FUNNY=5 AND P-OVERALL=.5
WRITE SCORE TOTAL TO SCORE TALLY.
Whoops "COMPILE ERROR - CORRECT AND RECOMPILE"
Missed the carriage return between second and third line.
IF MDATE = "12/25/03" PERFORM MERRY CHRISTMAS THRU SCORE.
RETURN.
AND IF P-PACE=5 AND P-FUNNY=5 AND P-OVERALL=.5
WRITE SCORE TOTAL TO SCORE TALLY.
Missed the carriage return between second and third line.
IF MDATE = "12/25/03" PERFORM MERRY CHRISTMAS THRU SCORE.
RETURN.
AND IF P-PACE=5 AND P-FUNNY=5 AND P-OVERALL=.5
WRITE SCORE TOTAL TO SCORE TALLY.
Count me, too, as another (former) COBOL programmer - well done. Well, not totally "former" - I occasionally have to look at COBOL now and then even today...
Well, I don't program for a living, but I am a programming student so that explains my inspiration. I know BASIC, I'm studying Java and I'm trying to learn C# on my own. I personally, have only glanced at COBOL a couple of times seeing as how it is more or less a dead language today. I feel quite glad that I didn't have to program in 'The Old Days' without a GUI to help. :D
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