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Song Parodies -> "How Do You Solve Your Hunchback's Necrophilia?"
Original Song Title:
"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?"
Original Performer:
The Sound Of Music (Musical)
Parody Song Title:
"How Do You Solve Your Hunchback's Necrophilia?"
Parody Written by:
TJC
The Lyrics
~
[DR. FRANKENSTEIN]
My hunchback slave would find a grave
And filch the parts I need
But recently there’s parts a’miss—
I’m forced to now concede
My horny hunchback henchman
Has been handing out his seed
To pilfered parts he’s hoarding in the dungeon!
Of late he’s late to kiss my feet
His slavishness lacks zeal
He’s lackluster in lightning storms
He grunts they’ve “lost a’peel”
I hate to have to say it
But I’ve caught him copping feels
While stashing trunks of ‘junk’ deep in the dungeon!
[CRINGING MINION]
I’d like to say a word about his ‘thing’
Cadavers
make it
‘schwing’!
[DR. FRANKENSTEIN]
How do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you put his hassock-hamster down?
How do you slip a sex fiend more saltpeter*?
Ya’ doctor his Whopper™ while dosin’ his Double-Down™?
Many a time it seems I’m his ‘enabler’
Many a time I feel more like his pimp
So how do you help your slave
Creep flaccidly ‘bout the grave?
How do you calm your klepto-snatcher's ‘chimp’?
Oh, how do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you help your henching ‘Hef’ stay limp?
[IGOR]
When I’m robbing ‘neath the ooze
‘Little Igor’ gets enthused
And I go all Nat’ly Portman in Black Swan
I’m both Oedi’ *and* Elektra
When my ‘Victor’ vaunts its vector
[MINION #1]
That’s a chubby...
[MINION #2]
...in his grubby...
[IGOR]
...burlap THONG!
[MINIONS]
He’s the coiner of term ‘stiffs’
He’d out-Lechter any schitz
He will ‘bawdy’ any body on the scene
He’s attentive to each ‘bride’
He’s got coffin boffin’ pride
He’s a Mons’ter!
He’s a D-man!
[IGOR]
I’m a SHEEN!
[FRANKENSTEIN]
How do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you break a stallion in mid-thrash?
How do you cure this case of gonner-feel-up?
A-flick-o-the-scalpel?
A snick-o-the shears?
A GASH?
Thinkin’ it’s Igor’s turn to play The Donor
Thinkin’ a snip’ll break-up his ‘log jam’
And that’s how to make a prude
Of charnel pit randy rubes
“Ciao!” to this slave’s demented shaggin’ plans!
So, *that’s* how you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia!
Now that I’ve hewn this goon’s beam—
Igor’s...
...Anne!
~
[DR. FRANKENSTEIN]
My hunchback slave would find a grave
And filch the parts I need
But recently there’s parts a’miss—
I’m forced to now concede
My horny hunchback henchman
Has been handing out his seed
To pilfered parts he’s hoarding in the dungeon!
Of late he’s late to kiss my feet
His slavishness lacks zeal
He’s lackluster in lightning storms
He grunts they’ve “lost a’peel”
I hate to have to say it
But I’ve caught him copping feels
While stashing trunks of ‘junk’ deep in the dungeon!
[CRINGING MINION]
I’d like to say a word about his ‘thing’
Cadavers
make it
‘schwing’!
[DR. FRANKENSTEIN]
How do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you put his hassock-hamster down?
How do you slip a sex fiend more saltpeter*?
Ya’ doctor his Whopper™ while dosin’ his Double-Down™?
Many a time it seems I’m his ‘enabler’
Many a time I feel more like his pimp
So how do you help your slave
Creep flaccidly ‘bout the grave?
How do you calm your klepto-snatcher's ‘chimp’?
Oh, how do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you help your henching ‘Hef’ stay limp?
[IGOR]
When I’m robbing ‘neath the ooze
‘Little Igor’ gets enthused
And I go all Nat’ly Portman in Black Swan
I’m both Oedi’ *and* Elektra
When my ‘Victor’ vaunts its vector
[MINION #1]
That’s a chubby...
[MINION #2]
...in his grubby...
[IGOR]
...burlap THONG!
[MINIONS]
He’s the coiner of term ‘stiffs’
He’d out-Lechter any schitz
He will ‘bawdy’ any body on the scene
He’s attentive to each ‘bride’
He’s got coffin boffin’ pride
He’s a Mons’ter!
He’s a D-man!
[IGOR]
I’m a SHEEN!
[FRANKENSTEIN]
How do you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia?
How do you break a stallion in mid-thrash?
How do you cure this case of gonner-feel-up?
A-flick-o-the-scalpel?
A snick-o-the shears?
A GASH?
Thinkin’ it’s Igor’s turn to play The Donor
Thinkin’ a snip’ll break-up his ‘log jam’
And that’s how to make a prude
Of charnel pit randy rubes
“Ciao!” to this slave’s demented shaggin’ plans!
So, *that’s* how you solve a hunchback’s necrophilia!
Now that I’ve hewn this goon’s beam—
Igor’s...
...Anne!
~
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User Comments
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TJC - It's Alive! It's Alive...with the Sound Of Music (lol). Please give us more of this "Addle-vice". Imaginative and funny! ;D
It's time to move up from the old fashioned way of creating new humans, by fashioning them from surplus graveyard parts, and form them from stem cells in test tubes. I know you like 8-track tapes, manual typewriters, rotary dial phones, and cameras with film in them. So do I. But you can't stop progress.
An eye-popping parody. LOL @ coffin boffin’ & horny hunchback henchman, among many others.
I don't know if you "cadaver" make me laugh more... But you always seem to, with each new parody! :) 555
Man..that was a grotesticle master pees...
The children of the night, what parodies they make.
Ghoulish gobs of turgid thanks out to OMR (Addled-vice totally inspired!), Patrick (I'll take your advice and head right over to Stem Sells™ via Parts-R-Us™ post haste!), Andy (I can see we both had mentally cast Marty Feldman for the lead!), Fiddlegirl (great gushing gouts of gratitude--and funny catch with 'cadaver'!), Dave W. (you sir have a talent for word-twistory!), and MP (from one Fan-Tom to another, I appreciate the sentient.)!
TMGLTM, but the verse from Portman to vector, uh, "stood out".
Lots of LOL puns in the commentary: OMR "Addle-vice", FG "coudever", Dan C "grotesticle" -- it takes a very funny punny parody to inspire such!
The vote? Why, 555, of corpse!
Lots of LOL puns in the commentary: OMR "Addle-vice", FG "coudever", Dan C "grotesticle" -- it takes a very funny punny parody to inspire such!
The vote? Why, 555, of corpse!
Efry time I find man mit gut Schwannstücke, der iss a problem. Diss von likes his vimmen dead... Ach du creeper!! ... but a gut mofie dat Mel Brooks cud make. Mix "Young Frankestein" und "Blazing Saddles" =
"Frankenstein Blazing In Der Saddles" Ach, funny!
"Frankenstein Blazing In Der Saddles" Ach, funny!
Lili von shtupp. . .that was funny. . .very funny. . .Uh, this parody was wrong, but in such a good way--very original idea (that is quite the title alone) Wow. . .just wow
To: Victor von Shtupp -
Dear Doktor,
I had a hunch this might be up your alley and thank you from the bottom of my pilfered heart for your encouragement, enlightening'ment, tutelage, forbearance, talus, forearm, amigdyla, metacarpals, conus medullaris--but most gratefully, for my funny bone! And so, if anyone was left in stitches, it was you who initiated that particular cascade with your first set of 'running mattress'. Bravo, Doktor--Bravo!
Sincerely your,
Alter Igor
Dear Doktor,
I had a hunch this might be up your alley and thank you from the bottom of my pilfered heart for your encouragement, enlightening'ment, tutelage, forbearance, talus, forearm, amigdyla, metacarpals, conus medullaris--but most gratefully, for my funny bone! And so, if anyone was left in stitches, it was you who initiated that particular cascade with your first set of 'running mattress'. Bravo, Doktor--Bravo!
Sincerely your,
Alter Igor
Dave, I appreciate your comments--and your grave concerns!
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