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Song Parodies -> "My New Furry Love"
Original Song Title:
"You Can't Hurry Love"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Supremes
Parody Song Title:
"My New Furry Love"
Parody Written by:
Arwen
The Lyrics
You know, many a naive young bride would think it's all glitz and glam to marry the Wolfman. But believe me, once the Transylvanian Honeymoon is over and reality sets in...you'll start singing a different tune...
My new love love’s
Not AL-ways kind
Sometimes I find, find
He’s rather LU-pine
And since we wed
My new furry love’s
BED-side manners aren’t great
“Scratch my back, but go easy!”
Chunks of flesh he’ll often take
My new furry love’s
HUN-ger will not abate
And so it CUTS down “our time”
No moonlit strolls CAN we take
And how many victims
Must he land
Before he has the time
With chores to give a hand?
Sometimes the ON-ly thing
That seems a pro, not con
Super-human strength
When lids ARE stuck on
But he won’t help make the bed
(New furry love)
NEV-er takes me on dates
And his hair makes me sneezy
How I wish the leaves he’d rake
How long must I wait?
WISH the gar-bage he’d take
‘Stead of causing dis-tress
Made my friend Bart
TAR-tar steak
Oh it’s not fair; I clean the house alone
While he’s out chasing through the village
The work postponed
And when he makes it in
From NIGHTS on the town
His bloodstained pants
Always make me frown
And the couch becomes his bed
(New furry love’s)
IN the doghouse of late
Be-cause I think it’s sleazy
Licks his chops at neighbor Kate
My new furry love’s
AL-most too much to take
Prefer ORRR-ganized crime
O-ver “death breath” WHEN he wakes
For Pete’s Sake!
This love, love’s
Far from easy
He’s biting and scratching
‘Stead of roof patching
Would be MY choice
To wax his back at night
To in-crease his charm
Should stand up-RIGHT
Heaving willing
He’ll give up killing
‘Cause it ain’t easy
It ain’t easy
He wants me dead!
My new furry love
NEV-er washes his plate
He licks it CLEAN ev’ry time
Then hits the wall ‘TIL it breaks
My new furry love
IN full moon gets irate
And it makes me uneasy
Is this marriage a mistake?
(fade)
Not AL-ways kind
Sometimes I find, find
He’s rather LU-pine
And since we wed
My new furry love’s
BED-side manners aren’t great
“Scratch my back, but go easy!”
Chunks of flesh he’ll often take
My new furry love’s
HUN-ger will not abate
And so it CUTS down “our time”
No moonlit strolls CAN we take
And how many victims
Must he land
Before he has the time
With chores to give a hand?
Sometimes the ON-ly thing
That seems a pro, not con
Super-human strength
When lids ARE stuck on
But he won’t help make the bed
(New furry love)
NEV-er takes me on dates
And his hair makes me sneezy
How I wish the leaves he’d rake
How long must I wait?
WISH the gar-bage he’d take
‘Stead of causing dis-tress
Made my friend Bart
TAR-tar steak
Oh it’s not fair; I clean the house alone
While he’s out chasing through the village
The work postponed
And when he makes it in
From NIGHTS on the town
His bloodstained pants
Always make me frown
And the couch becomes his bed
(New furry love’s)
IN the doghouse of late
Be-cause I think it’s sleazy
Licks his chops at neighbor Kate
My new furry love’s
AL-most too much to take
Prefer ORRR-ganized crime
O-ver “death breath” WHEN he wakes
For Pete’s Sake!
This love, love’s
Far from easy
He’s biting and scratching
‘Stead of roof patching
Would be MY choice
To wax his back at night
To in-crease his charm
Should stand up-RIGHT
Heaving willing
He’ll give up killing
‘Cause it ain’t easy
It ain’t easy
He wants me dead!
My new furry love
NEV-er washes his plate
He licks it CLEAN ev’ry time
Then hits the wall ‘TIL it breaks
My new furry love
IN full moon gets irate
And it makes me uneasy
Is this marriage a mistake?
(fade)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 19 | 20 | 19 |
User Comments
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I WERE WOLFin' down my breakfast when I came aCROSS this one it BIT me right in the neck...Here's some GARLIC'd fives
I've got a case of silver bullets and Van Helsing on speed dial so if you need me to off your boyfriend I think I can manage something... Better be careful it's a full moon tonight.
hilarious...now THAT'S a honeyMOON
Holy Crap!! I really should know better than to submit things at 2 in the morning. That should say "Heaven Willing" rather than "heaving willing." Gosh I am so lame. :( AFW...thanks a bunch!!
Matthias...hey, I'll keep you on speed dial...you might just get that "rescue me" call!
Alvin...thanks very much!!
Matthias...hey, I'll keep you on speed dial...you might just get that "rescue me" call!
Alvin...thanks very much!!
Uh oh, sounds like somebody's in the doghouse. Funny stuff, nice smooth read.
I thought this was gonna be about furries, a rather strange sub-culture of people dressing and acting like anthropomorphized animals (check out wikipedia's article about them).
Also, "There, wolf. There, castle."
Also, "There, wolf. There, castle."
You never cease to amaze me. The image of a werewolf clumsily trying to do household chores...and you getting all pissy with him just kills me. This is an instant classic.
Lady ARwen, this is just delightful & frightful. Loved the line " his hair makes me sneezy!! " Regardless of the ' hair factor ' most gents are NOT much help on the homefront !
Claude...hee hee...thanks a bunch!
McKludge...You know...I saw a CSI about the "furry" culture once. Pretty much everything I know about life, I learned from CSI. =) And...a Young Frankenstein reference is ALWAYS welcome in my book. So double thanks!
Ash...awww, thanks! I have to admit that when I imagined this hen-picked werewolf, I couldn't NOT write about him. I mean...which is more terrifying...the wolf man...or a nagging wife? ; ) Thanks!!
LilCougaress...thank you very much!!
McKludge...You know...I saw a CSI about the "furry" culture once. Pretty much everything I know about life, I learned from CSI. =) And...a Young Frankenstein reference is ALWAYS welcome in my book. So double thanks!
Ash...awww, thanks! I have to admit that when I imagined this hen-picked werewolf, I couldn't NOT write about him. I mean...which is more terrifying...the wolf man...or a nagging wife? ; ) Thanks!!
LilCougaress...thank you very much!!
I rrrrrrreally enjoyed this one, Arrrwen! 5-5-5
Serafina...thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Owwwwwwooooooot-rageous parody, Arwen!!!!!!!! I definitely echo all comments! Reminds me of the Capcom video games Darkstalkers and Vampire Savior where this character John Talbain is the werewolf fighter.
Thanks a bunch, Christie!
Arwen, My Internet slow and I wanted to play the original and really "get" this, so sorry for the late comment. I love all the detail. Verry sharp, and not just talking about this guy's teeth.
Dreaded Mom...hey, thanks!! =)
(Ages) Still a fan of this one Arwen. I howled with laughter. (Cant believe nobody used that pun yet)
(Ages) He gives you warm fuzzies late at night, though? :)
Arwen sounds like you could be writing about an ex! lol. some great lines.."O-ver “death breath” WHEN he wakes" 555
(Ages) I also thought it was gonna be about furries (speaking of which, only a small sub-section of them actually do the dress-up thing - CSI didn't do their research on that one). Interesting parody, Arwen, to say the least. I have this feeling that this idea's been done before, but I haven't read any like it, so you get off there. 555 for you!
Loved it Arwen !!! Kind of reminds me of that scene in Young Frankenstein where the monster is in bed with his glasses on reading the newspaper.
Oh...BTW...you write just like a girl...
Oh...BTW...you write just like a girl...
Matty...thanks a bunch...again!
Agri...hee hee...well, I think I've expressed my thoughts on hairy backs around here before. ; )
Tomario...=) I never kiss and tell. LOL! Okay, I just totally cracked myself up. I am the QUEEN of kissing and telling. Phew...good one, Arwen...
BPC...I refuse to believe anything other than what I see on CSI. ; ) Thanks!
IB...Oh I LOVE Young Frankenstein. Your comment gets 5s from me. =) And I'm SOOO glad that I write just like a girl...otherwise...I don't know...I might get a complex...considering that I am the girliest of girls...and not writing like a girl would freak me out.
Agri...hee hee...well, I think I've expressed my thoughts on hairy backs around here before. ; )
Tomario...=) I never kiss and tell. LOL! Okay, I just totally cracked myself up. I am the QUEEN of kissing and telling. Phew...good one, Arwen...
BPC...I refuse to believe anything other than what I see on CSI. ; ) Thanks!
IB...Oh I LOVE Young Frankenstein. Your comment gets 5s from me. =) And I'm SOOO glad that I write just like a girl...otherwise...I don't know...I might get a complex...considering that I am the girliest of girls...and not writing like a girl would freak me out.
I think you need a divorce Arwen, or at the very least laser hair removal for your deranged husband. . .hope your 'chunks' repair themselves.
Hilarious, and it hits home. Maybe a little rough on the pacing here and there, but I'm judging in a hurry. I think I'm biased toward the feminine angle. 5-5-5.
The scratch my back line made me laugh out loud. Didn't know you dated Teen Wolf :) Great job :)
I had some lols at this one, particularly in the middle around the third or four chore he skipped out on. Great job on this Arwen. Way to overpower that writer's block.
BA Dave...hee hee...thanks!
Melanie...I really don't know what to say about the fact that this hits home for you. Yikes??
Jeffy...when I was young I really wanted to date Teen Wolf. That guy was so cool.
2nz...(yes, I'm always going to call you that...sorry!)...thanks!
Melanie...I really don't know what to say about the fact that this hits home for you. Yikes??
Jeffy...when I was young I really wanted to date Teen Wolf. That guy was so cool.
2nz...(yes, I'm always going to call you that...sorry!)...thanks!
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