A big flop am I
My bank just went bye-bye
It vanished to thin air
But Congress don't seem to care

I asked them, "Please bail me out"
"My bonus earned; there's no doubt"
I just stood there, brave and bold
But they acted cold

But when the cash flow starts pissing from those guys
I thought, "Don't forget - sell off your private jet"
And when they wrote a check and said, "What the heck" [1]
Then I knew: taxpayers, screw!
And they won my vote

So my bonus, I super-sized
Hoping that Congress wouldn't mind
But not a word did they say
Took their dough and went away

Yes, when the pork bucks start flowing from those guys
Made me realize: Take them for a ride
And when they passed a bill for a trillion bucks [1]
Then I knew: what fools are you!
Fool and money part [2]

When one said: oversight, he seeks
I told them, "Bite my cheeks!"
Instead of saying, "Your pay, freeze"
They held out their hands: "Donate, please"

So when the bailout starts gushing from those guys
You should realize it's a pack of lies
And when they pass a bill giving tax cuts, too [1]
Here's a clue; I'm warning you:
It's inflation's start

And when the bullsh*t stops, watch those prices rise
You should realize how that John Keynes lied [3]
Too bad he sold that cr*p to old FDR...

Federal Reserve Board starts printing paper bucks
You should realize that you''ve all been f***ed.
And with inflation's rise, as each voter cries...
(I told you...)
(I told you...)
(Yep, I told you so...)

[fade, as the US fades]



[1] Pacing note, as if anyone actually knows the OS: it puts three syllables in "upon": "u-u-pon".

[2] “A fool and his money are soon parted.” -- Thomas Tusser (English farmer and writer, 1524-1580)

[3] John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) was a British economist who taught that you can get rich by spending money you don't have, rather than by saving, investing, and producing something useful; and that a government, which is nothing more than all of you put together, can somehow wave a magic wand and make each of you richer without any of you actually doing any more work. His theories dominated US economics from the 1940s through the 1960s, but the payback finally arrived in the 1970s in a new phenomenon, "stagflation": high unemployment and no growth combined with hyperinflation. (This cost President Jimmy Carter his re-election.) Unfortunately, the distortions in the economy caused by the massive government interventions advocated by Keynes always seem to result in calls for yet more government fu-- I mean, interfering -- with the economy.