-> "Taylor's Mission"
Original Song Title:
"Sally Simpson"
Parody Song Title:
"Taylor's Mission"
The Lyrics
[Narrator]
At Taylor's house, Miss Swift had announced that she'd call a friendly meeting
She served up some homemade chips and salsa after she gave everyone a greeting
Gaga, Beyonce, Katy, Carly and others had just been hired
She suggested that they beat him up and set his camp on fire
She knew from the start
She had to be smart
In getting Kanye, that dumb old fart
But her buddies said "Whip out that flip chart
And show us what to be"
Her coffee-fueled sermon
Was full of input from everyone in the room
But one idea really struck a chord
With Taylor that afternoon
[Carly]
Hey, Taylor. I have a brilliant idea
I hope your all ears, sweetie.
Let us throw a super house party
Then we sneak out to Kanye's
She knew from the start
She had to be smart
In getting Kanye, that dumb old fart
But her buddies said "Whip out that flip chart
And show us what to be"
[Taylor]
Carly, I love your idea, but come on!
Let others have a turn!
[Gaga]
I'm drawing a blank right now
[Beyonce]
Me too!
[Katy]
Me three!
[Taylor]
Let's stick to hers!
[Narrator]
She wrote the steps with a purple Sharpie marker
In all caps. And I quote:
"WE WILL HAVE A HOUSE PARTY RIGHT HERE,
THEN TO KANYE'S HOUSE WE WILL GO!"
[Beyonce]
You sound plain crazy!
[Narrator]
Beyonce was enraged
She was worried that Taylor would get hurt
Or locked up in a cage!
Soon Beyonce's feelings were cooler
and asked everyone to listen
Queen B just had to throw in her 2 cents
On why they should just play possum
[Beyonce]
I think that Taylor should forgive and forget
It's the ladylike thing to do
[Abigail]
But the paparazzi will keep bugging her
Cuz they have much different views
She knew from the start
She had to be smart
In getting Kanye, that dumb old fart
But her buddies said "Whip out that flip chart
And show us what to be"
[Taylor]
Be real, my good girls. Although I was put down
I'm over all those tears
I wonder if I drive him nuts
He'd pull a Britney Spears
Not tonight, but some other time
I'll forget about that night
This little plan of ours is nothing
The prom's a more momentous rite.
[Gaga]
It's not that crazy
Were not all on the boat.
Little Taylor's so smart; should we implement?
Let's make a yes or no vote!
Hmmmm.
[Narrator]
16 ballots cast that night
And Taylor said:
[Taylor]
Looks like we're gonna party!
I ask for everyone to bring some food
Even if it's too hearty
Meet me here tomorrow
The party starts at 6 PM sharp
I'm gonna get some hors d'oeuvres
And for the ambush, if needed, a tarp!
[Narrator]
She knew from the start
She had to be smart
In getting Kanye, that dumb old fart
But her buddies said "Whip out that flip chart
And show us what to be"
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