need a green one? In A Pinch?
I'll cut you quite a deal
if pine needle pokes, like cactus
is something you like to feel
nine-six inch!
for about five-hundred dollars, almost a steal!

I can tell you're In A Pinch
need a tree for your home
you say they're full of spiders
so to others shops, you'll roam
wait a squinch!
five-hundred-thousand gets you
thirty-nine-and-a-half feet, holmes!

You Can Buy One, In A Pinch
there's no termites, 'round for miles!
and I tell you, I'm the sweetest
see my trusty, salesman smile?
why the flinch?
so, maybe some trees have a squirrel, or two
don't leave, yet! browse a little while!

why not pick one? it's a cinch
don't tell me you saw a skunk!
you might've seen some wildlife
but, now you're full of junk!
penny-pinch!

there's one word that best describes you
after pulling that cheap hoax!
cheap-skate!
(notices the skunk is very much real, and indeed, inside the Christmas Tree)
SKUNK!!!

I'm a rotter?! you're a C;3!^(#!
I'm the king of trees, this lot,
has more trees than you could know, more trees than you could've thought
no mere pitch!

your glare, is an unnerving death stare
overflowing with the most, plain hateful
assortment of just horrible violence imaginable!
mangle me or strangle me not!

sure you don't want one, Mr. Grinch?
on your high-horse, you'll ride off
call me crooked jerk-off, will ye?
well, I'll call you, with a cough
"cough"Mr. Grinch!"cough"

you are some kind of sourpuss
and cheapskate sandwich!
even Scrooge would scoff!