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Song Parodies -> "My Sphincter's Alone Now"
Original Song Title:
"I Think We're Alone Now"
Original Performer:
Tommy James and the Shondells
Parody Song Title:
"My Sphincter's Alone Now"
Parody Written by:
A Room Full Of Monkeys
The Lyrics
If I ever stop doing proctology parodies, you'll know I've reached that magical age where it's NO LAUGHING MATTER. Not yet, though. Plus I stole a rhyme or two from an earlier song of mine.
Patient disrobe -- That's what they tell me at the doctor's
One quick little pro-obe -- before I knew
it he was
Shovin' his whole arm up my can!
Down in never never ever land!
Tryin to find that place, deep in your soul
Where you feel your fellow man and you say
MOMMY that is cold
Then suddenly
My sphincter's alone now
Doesn't seem to be anyone insi-ide
My sphincter's alone now
Everything intact but my manly pri-ide
Oh doc behave -- that's what I say as I bend over
Spelunking my ca-ave -- I don't often do
When sober
Shovin' his whole arm up my can!
Hopes to shake my large intestine's hand!
Tryin' to find a place, deep in the hole
Where the gerbils and the hamsters and the
Monkeys do not go
Then finally
My sphincter's alone now
Doesn't seem to be anyone in there-ere
My sphincter's alone now
Also there ain't no one yankin' on my hair-air
My sphincter's alone now
Not expecting an-y more company
My sphincter's alone now
Don't need anybody else humpin' me
Plumbing in my ass with his hand!
Hopes to get to know my prostate gland!
Tryin' to get a date, for Friday night
Then he puts his arms inside me just to
Double all the fun
Then suddenly
My sphincter's alone now
No one usin' me just to warm their pa-alms
My sphincter's alone now
Wristwatch left inside is my only qua-alm
(etc....)
One quick little pro-obe -- before I knew
it he was
Shovin' his whole arm up my can!
Down in never never ever land!
Tryin to find that place, deep in your soul
Where you feel your fellow man and you say
MOMMY that is cold
Then suddenly
My sphincter's alone now
Doesn't seem to be anyone insi-ide
My sphincter's alone now
Everything intact but my manly pri-ide
Oh doc behave -- that's what I say as I bend over
Spelunking my ca-ave -- I don't often do
When sober
Shovin' his whole arm up my can!
Hopes to shake my large intestine's hand!
Tryin' to find a place, deep in the hole
Where the gerbils and the hamsters and the
Monkeys do not go
Then finally
My sphincter's alone now
Doesn't seem to be anyone in there-ere
My sphincter's alone now
Also there ain't no one yankin' on my hair-air
My sphincter's alone now
Not expecting an-y more company
My sphincter's alone now
Don't need anybody else humpin' me
Plumbing in my ass with his hand!
Hopes to get to know my prostate gland!
Tryin' to get a date, for Friday night
Then he puts his arms inside me just to
Double all the fun
Then suddenly
My sphincter's alone now
No one usin' me just to warm their pa-alms
My sphincter's alone now
Wristwatch left inside is my only qua-alm
(etc....)
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 21 | 19 | 20 |
User Comments
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Hopes to get to know my prostate gland! Tryin' to get a date, for Friday night Great line! But there's much more than that that deserves 5's! This was a great parody!
Yikes...but I gotta admit it's funny....I've done my share of proctology parodies (not this one, though). 5's
I am prostate [sic] with laughter.
LOL... good luck avoiding an aoid assault for this one...
Holy s---! (Almost literally.) If I ever do a sequel to "The Reckoning of These Song Titles," this one will have to be cited. Nice job, Multiple Simians! I'll butt out now.
Thanks you all
i was doing Ok, till i got to the "hopes to shake my large intestine's hand" line...then i dissolved into an apoplexy of giggles...too funny
Dude. That's all I can say about how much awesome stuff you've put out lately. DUDE.
And the second verse gives a whole new meaning to "a room full of monkeys."
And the second verse gives a whole new meaning to "a room full of monkeys."
SOTM Funny!! 5's
(SOTM) This was ASStounding. Er ass-pounding or whatever. Gives a painful new meaning to the term laughing one's ass off. Fibers.
Clever rhyming, and a really hands-on approach.
SOTM - wow. I'm like doubled over here
(SOTM) Tee hee hee h..argghhhh!! 555
(SOTM) I got a message from your doc, Claude...Says he's missing his wristwatch and you should call him ASAP.
(SOTM) Thought I had already commented on this one, apparently not, laughing from the title on in.
(SOTM) ow, Ow, OW!!! If your can hurt half as bad as my sides are hurting, now... I feel sorry for you!!!
Thanks for all the comments everybody.
SOTM--"everything in tact but my manly pride!" Excellent!
(SOTM) wristwatches, hamsters, gerbils, what else have you got up there - sounds like Grand Central - nice and disgusting, Claude! :-)
ooohh ouch!!! very funny 5s (SOTM)
(SOTM) See above!
I think I'll vote 5's now
SOTM... Laughed my ass off...canceled my prostate exam lol...high 5's, very funny lines everywhere
Dude. What Spaff said. MOMMY this is cold.
I feel your pain ... but I also appreciate all of the great lines, particularly the spelunking line.
I still think the Doctor should at least by you dinner first. Hilarious, Claude.
(SOTM) This was definitely a LOL one!
(SOTM) - Youch! Not a reach to say this is "sphinctacular"...5's...
Thought I commented on this one earlier, I liked it a lot. I've been...behind in my comments.
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