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Song Parodies -> "If I Were a Santa"

Original Song Title:

"If I Were a Rich Man"

Original Performer:

Zero Mostel

Parody Song Title:

"If I Were a Santa"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

Song #8 of "The 12 Parodies of Christmas".
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
If I were a holly jolly man, if I were a frayleich man
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would dress up for my yearly flight in a Yarmulkeh that's red and white

And I would
Have my elves keep busy the whole year working on every kosher toy
Wooden dreidels for ev-er-y girl and boy
And I would
Have my reindeer practice their flying faster and higher than before
I would kvel as I would watch them soar

If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would greet you "sholem aleycham", if I were a Christmas man
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would thrill both shikse and shygetz, and I'd never have any regrets

And I would
Schlep a bag jammed full of the presents I would deliver Christmas eve
Landing on the rooftops with great espirit
And then a
Quick trip down the chimney to drop off gifts for the little goyem kids
And maybe nosh a schmear left near the tree

If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
I would get a lot of mazel tov, if I were the Christmas mensch
If I were a Santa,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle daidle deedle ho ho ho
But I'll never serve as you-know-who, because I'm orthodox and I'm a jew.
Copyright 2005 Rex Ungericht. All rights reserved.
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0
Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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 5   10
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User Comments

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Rick C - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Oy, oy, oy Merry Christmas!
Kristof Robertson - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Je-wish you a merry Christmas, Rex! 555
Michael Pacholek - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
With tradition you mess? Oh well. But shouldn't those "daidel deedles" have included a dreidel?
AFW - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Adding a good Christmas flavor to a Broadway favorite..good work..fives
John Barry - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Schlep these fives home.
stuart mcarthur - December 07, 2005 - Report this comment
didn't get all the Jewish gags, Rex, but a good read anyway - 555
Rex - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Mazel tov to all. Stuart - this is the first time I've attempted something like this - I hope the online Yiddish dictionary I used was accurate!
Squire G - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes I had to have someone translate some of this but even tho...this was pretty funny

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