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Song Parodies -> "P.M.T"
Original Song Title:
"T.N.T"
Original Performer:
AC/DC
Parody Song Title:
"P.M.T"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
Menstruation, mental breakdown, menopause, seems all of women's problems start with men!
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
Crimson Tide hours of the month, yeah.
Time for choleric and screams.
Shouts and gall. Um, why upset?
Ears are blowing with steam.
Women, an incensed army.
With lemon-sucking spite.
Men gotta run or get in strife.
Dear depart your wife.
‘That time',
P.M.T!
Vaginas smite!
P.M.T!
She's violent tonight!
P.M.T!
Switch off sour mode!
P.M.T!
Crotch makes ‘em brood!
Their surly bane, quite like Halloween.
Quite disgruntled, man.
Pubic area? Husbands can't,
Understand.
Get socked by your daughter! Struck by your wife!
Mocked of your rapport, with gun and flick knife.
Men get attacked by frowns.
All homes possess a couch.
‘That time',
P.M.T!
Hostile and trite!
P.M.T!
Her eyes are a fright!
P.M.T!
What a grouchy toad!
P.M.T!
Lawn isn't mowed!
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
P.M.T!
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
P.M.T!
A gyno-bite!
P.M.T!
These wild chicks ignite!
P.M.T!
Starts a dour feud!
P.M.T!
Crotchety mood!
*duet turned lioness-roar solo*
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
Crimson Tide hours of the month, yeah.
Time for choleric and screams.
Shouts and gall. Um, why upset?
Ears are blowing with steam.
Women, an incensed army.
With lemon-sucking spite.
Men gotta run or get in strife.
Dear depart your wife.
‘That time',
P.M.T!
Vaginas smite!
P.M.T!
She's violent tonight!
P.M.T!
Switch off sour mode!
P.M.T!
Crotch makes ‘em brood!
Their surly bane, quite like Halloween.
Quite disgruntled, man.
Pubic area? Husbands can't,
Understand.
Get socked by your daughter! Struck by your wife!
Mocked of your rapport, with gun and flick knife.
Men get attacked by frowns.
All homes possess a couch.
‘That time',
P.M.T!
Hostile and trite!
P.M.T!
Her eyes are a fright!
P.M.T!
What a grouchy toad!
P.M.T!
Lawn isn't mowed!
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
P.M.T!
(‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed! ‘nnoyed!)
P.M.T!
A gyno-bite!
P.M.T!
These wild chicks ignite!
P.M.T!
Starts a dour feud!
P.M.T!
Crotchety mood!
*duet turned lioness-roar solo*
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Luke Brattoni presents "How To Make Friends and Influence People...of the Female Persuasion"..available in hardback, RRP $12.99..:-) 555
"So... as a super hero do you have any ongoing enemies?"
"Yes, once a month... my wife becomes EVIL... and I cannot defeat her."
This ones a bit rough for me, but your wordplay im-PMS... I mean impress.
"Yes, once a month... my wife becomes EVIL... and I cannot defeat her."
This ones a bit rough for me, but your wordplay im-PMS... I mean impress.
Vaginas smite!!!! Clever clever stuff.
LOL, Kristof and 2nz! Thanks Claude.
I often wonder how tampon commercials think that the 'euphemistic' use of blue fluid to demonstrate absorbtion rate and flexibility diagrams to demonstrate insertion comfort lessens the grossness factor. And they're always on at meal times!
I often wonder how tampon commercials think that the 'euphemistic' use of blue fluid to demonstrate absorbtion rate and flexibility diagrams to demonstrate insertion comfort lessens the grossness factor. And they're always on at meal times!
Interesting work, Luke/Jake. Now tell me, how much of this is written from first-hand experience? ;-p
I have had to argue my way out of purchasing my dear mother's tampons on numerous occasions. (16's, if that means anything) And incidents of fellow classmates storming out of the room sobbing hysterically were greatly increased in co-ed subjects.
Before I give you any good remarks about this wonderful piece of work, let me assure you that not everyone chooses to mow their lawns. Growth there is perfectly normal and is not required to be removed - however, there are some who choose to treat their lawns so they do not sprout until the appropriate season.
Nice use of the phrase 'Crimson Tide', by the way (those poor, poor Alabamans). I'm pleased that you didn't include anything about riding the cotton pony or drowning in the Red Sea. And for the record, menstrual fluid IS blue!
Nice use of the phrase 'Crimson Tide', by the way (those poor, poor Alabamans). I'm pleased that you didn't include anything about riding the cotton pony or drowning in the Red Sea. And for the record, menstrual fluid IS blue!
Ahhhh, so that little blue toilet deodoriser in my stepsisters' loo is what leaves the messy mass of redI'lljustrailoffawkwardlyhererather thaninducenauseafrommyunpleasantfamilyexperiences. BUTTERFLIES! SUNSHINE! RAINBOWS!
Just be glad you don't have the S. I. swimsuit edition, a brother who's starting puberty, and laundry duty.
...because then you'd have no time to write parodies! OF COURSE!
...because then you'd have no time to write parodies! OF COURSE!
You poor thing. I just have to be the alibi for my younger brother's drunken soirees with private school girls; standing out in the pouring rain at 4 in the morning to give his lady-friends directions as to where they can crash for the night after binge drinking themselves stupid. Well, he's 700 km away now. Whass diss S. I. standing for? He uses the washing machine? Hmm, safer than a tube sock...
S. I. s. = Sports Illustrated, silly!
Whass diss 'km' standing for?
Whass diss 'km' standing for?
km s.= kilomiles, stupid! Sports Illustrated? I'm only vaguely aware of it. Obviously I'm not as much a lesbian wanker as you are.
*suh-wish*
*suh-wish*
Oh, snapple. Then again, I'm only vaguely aware of this 'tube sock' you mentioned earlier.
*twelve-sided died!*
*twelve-sided died!*
*puts aside petty snide remarks for twelve-sided's funeral*
...done! Now time for the traditional post-funeral coitus!
"Woot."
"Woot."
"I'm down."
"The coffin speaks to me in ways a bowl of pan-asian cuisine can't."
"Ow! My browser!"
"Woot."
"Woot."
"I'm down."
"The coffin speaks to me in ways a bowl of pan-asian cuisine can't."
"Ow! My browser!"
Uh, Luke?
It's over.
It's over.
*tanties*
Go back to warm-rinsing your Philadelphia cheese, biache.
Go back to warm-rinsing your Philadelphia cheese, biache.
Ow, my self-esteem/V-plates!
Awwww. Here, have a wowwipop for reaching 50 parodies.
*sucks*
Come on, you're not that bad.
Ah, but Emi has been a naughty, naughty girl, she has! Bad Emi, bad, BAD Emi! *irons fingers*
Could you do my elbows while you're there, dear?
*smugs about being able to reply without the term 'spanking' even crossing mind*
*smugs about being able to reply without the term 'spanking' even crossing mind*
So I'm assuming you were able to type the word 'spanking' without thinking about it? I'm impressed. Well, that explains the abundance your crude, flagrantly offensive phrases in all of your parodies - we never would have chastised you if we knew you weren't even THINKING.
Never thought of that.
*smugs about being able to reply without the term 'oral sex' even crossing mind*
Oh, spoot, you're too clever!
Take this Hat of Booyah and let me fantasise in peace.
Take this Hat of Booyah and let me fantasise in peace.
Mmm. Boooooooyah. *snarfs*
Slow down there, it'll all go to your hips. Then I'll have to dine at an All-You-Can-E*commonsensed!*
You really should stop while you're behind, dear. No, really. Stop right there. Behind.
And assume the smiley?
Ass + u + me = assume.
In conclusion, mos'def.
In conclusion, mos'def.
I'd love to know how you make CAMOMILE TEA.
And really love to know how to do a SIMPLE ANAGRAM without COMPLETELY FUCKING IT UP.
I'll have to settle for 'I'd love to know how you make EmiLoca mate.' *tanties that you're not an EemiLoca so you'd have to EAT ME.*
You make my brain hurt.
That's cuz you suck and swallow too quickly.
(My squishees are extra cold.)
(My squishees are extra cold.)
...and also have the after-effect of the 'Cold Shoulder.'
Great.
Great.
Oh goody! They're warm again!
*massages shoulders with perfumed feet*
*massages shoulders with perfumed feet*
Eww, now they smell like...dead flowers...or something along those lines. Lord knows if I've ever understood anything you've said.
Are you joking? I gave up trying to understand you two MONTHS ago!
Well, that certainly explains the deaths of all those thirty-two close acquaintances...at least we're on the same page now.
I'd use my almighty powers to answer wittily, but... you know...
Yes, I know..."Thou shalt not commit wittery in vain" or something, right? Because then you'd be a hypocrite, and go to hell.
Hoorah! Nothing I write can ever come close as being classified as 'wittery'! *unfolorn exhale onto halo, rub against sleeve, sparkle*
I should've known you weren't the horny devil I suspected. Not only that, but you have Orbit-fresh breath that doesn't exactly clean your halo, but makes it feel smashing. And that's all that matters.
Exactly. Nobody minds a drunk beggar, saturated in his own vomit and faeces, urinating on their doorstop at four in the morning AS LONG AS HIS BREATH HAS THAT FRESH HINT OF CINNAMON.
Not if he's a FAMOUS drunk beggar!!!
Yes, then they insist that they 'sign their name' on the doormat.
As we lick their feet.
...
...what?! I don't know how you Americans do things over there, but ...
...what?!
...what?! I don't know how you Americans do things over there, but ...
...what?!
Sorry, I forgot to explain. "Feet" are those flat-bottomed, size-12 things at the ends of your ankles. *raises eyebrow*
Hey, young Missy! Lower that eyebrow!
*eyebrow lowered*
...aaand the other one!
*previously unraised eyebrow descends into grotesque location on eyelid*
Paris Hilton: Hey, don't knock it! That's hot!
*eyebrow lowered*
...aaand the other one!
*previously unraised eyebrow descends into grotesque location on eyelid*
Paris Hilton: Hey, don't knock it! That's hot!
Great. Now I'm going to need plastic surgery AND a restraining order on Miss Hilton. I told that wench to stop following me HOURS ago... *throws massive boulder in Paris' direction*
Gee, thanks for the boulder. What use is a present if I can't have filthy sex with it?
Chucky's clocks are fun-nee!
Yesss, Luke. Now sit down.
I like it when people post in the past, issalllike, freaaaaky. It's like you're living in a different time zone or something.
Or like they've actually just posted before you.
Jaaa, major frea-kayyy.
I've just finished watching 'Lost and Delirious' (Is it me or did Mischa Barton's breasts decrease in size since she was thirteen?)
What's frea-kayyy is that the boyfriend of the lesbian is called Jake... acted by a Luke... and there ISN'T an Emily involved at all! Frea-kayyy.
Jaaa, major frea-kayyy.
I've just finished watching 'Lost and Delirious' (Is it me or did Mischa Barton's breasts decrease in size since she was thirteen?)
What's frea-kayyy is that the boyfriend of the lesbian is called Jake... acted by a Luke... and there ISN'T an Emily involved at all! Frea-kayyy.
WhattheFreaks?!? You just posted in the past again!!! OMGsdslkaoidqwert.
And the best part is...I'm posting in the future!!! *doo dee doo dee doo*
Aren't we just great?
People keep bitching about how hard long-distance relationships are whilst we continue to kick ass at a trans-time one.
People keep bitching about how hard long-distance relationships are whilst we continue to kick ass at a trans-time one.
I, for one, find it particularly comforting that I have no proof that your genitals crow...you can stay on the other side of the planet as long as you like.
Curses, my genitals are merely equipped with chirping capabilities.
I'll meet you at 'Scooters' six years ago.
I'll meet you at 'Scooters' six years ago.
I might be a little late, because I have a dentist appointment in 1999...is five years okay with you?
I dunno, this Millenium Bug thing might screw up every computer in the world. But then I guess 'Scooters' will take over as a global monopoly, and we'll all be enslaved. Meet you at Decaf-Sector #31Z.
No, Luke, it would definitely be Starbucks. They're thinking about putting one in my SCHOOL...and there's another right across the street. I swear, by that time, we're all going to have personal Starbucks installed in the place of butler's pantries, and then we're going to be enslaved by the tantalizing aromas of mint chai and cinnamon latte.
NecroDew Resistance Squad... roll call!
*Tuquoise Virgin power, GO!*
*Tuquoise Virgin power, GO!*
You made a funny...and a typo.
Is that, like, the first time you've ever done that?
Probably.
Do you mind if I give you hell?
Is that, like, the first time you've ever done that?
Probably.
Do you mind if I give you hell?
I guess it's better than a new pair of socks.
Ewwww. I'm not getting near you, even with hell to give, if you've still got those RANCID socks on from, what, last year? I'm slipping under!
Underwhere?
You know where it goes.
I thought you said you knew nothing about pleasuring tube socks... hope the maple glaze gets out the 'grass' stains.
Grassiass, Luke.
Obviously I had a different idea of where it goes...
*cringes*
...gewww.
...gewww.
Is that a warm spin cycle? No wonder it takes so long to do your brother's laund*gewwygrossnessedout*
Okay. I can't stand this. I'm LEAVING. *hops on a plane and flies 400 miles away...which is actually flying 400 miles closer to you, but loopy-do muscle drugs can have that affect on certain Cajun Asians*
Up your dosage. Now.
Up your ass. Now.
*mouth flapping about like a muppet*
Look, I'm a stupid idiot! Hey, stop hitting myself! Hey, stop hitting myself!
*thinking* Emi, git yer paws outta there!
Look, I'm a stupid idiot! Hey, stop hitting myself! Hey, stop hitting myself!
*thinking* Emi, git yer paws outta there!
Look! I'm going to drink a glass of water and Luke's going to tell you a joke!
"Hey everyone, I peed in her glass."
*uproarious laughter from crowd*
*uproarious laughter from crowd*
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