Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "Only God Decides"
Original Song Title:
"Only Women Bleed"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Alice Cooper
Parody Song Title:
"Only God Decides"
Parody Written by:
Christian Sally
The Lyrics
Only God decides
So swallow your pride
Don't ask why
Shut up and believe
Hey you in pain
Dying of cancer
Leprosy agony
Hang in there and take care
You can tough it out
No need to shout
If you wanna cry, cry to the Lord
If you wanna yell, yell to Him on high
It's no excuse to end your life.
Tell Kevorkian to go away
And stay outside on rainy days
So you're in agony, suffering all the time
Here's some news to make you feel better
God loves you!
And he'll deliver you in his own sweet time.
So buck up, tortured soul, and be strong!
Oh, and keep your hand away from that plug, gun, or lethal needle
Only God decides
So stay on this ride
Don't ask why
Don't ask so many questions!
Shut up and believe
So you got raped
Join the club
You feel dirty, filthy, poisoned
low.
You're not feeling very good right now, I take it
Lighten up!
You know why?
God loves you
And he will heal the wounds and punish the offender
In his own sweet time
So why would you want to punish an innocent life
Growing inside you
By sand blasting it out of your swollen body.
So this infant might have the rapist's face,
Hands, feet, and dirty dingle
Well, he might grow on you
And you may learn to love his rakish good looks
And you may forgive the rapist in time
Save your baby
Don't say maybe
To new life in your womb
When you kill what's in your womb
You make the world a tomb
Only God decides
So have a wafer and a smile
Because all the while
Only God decides
So swallow your pride
Don't ask why
Shut up and believe
Hey you in pain
Dying of cancer
Leprosy agony
Hang in there and take care
You can tough it out
No need to shout
If you wanna cry, cry to the Lord
If you wanna yell, yell to Him on high
It's no excuse to end your life.
Tell Kevorkian to go away
And stay outside on rainy days
So you're in agony, suffering all the time
Here's some news to make you feel better
God loves you!
And he'll deliver you in his own sweet time.
So buck up, tortured soul, and be strong!
Oh, and keep your hand away from that plug, gun, or lethal needle
Only God decides
So stay on this ride
Don't ask why
Don't ask so many questions!
Shut up and believe
So you got raped
Join the club
You feel dirty, filthy, poisoned
low.
You're not feeling very good right now, I take it
Lighten up!
You know why?
God loves you
And he will heal the wounds and punish the offender
In his own sweet time
So why would you want to punish an innocent life
Growing inside you
By sand blasting it out of your swollen body.
So this infant might have the rapist's face,
Hands, feet, and dirty dingle
Well, he might grow on you
And you may learn to love his rakish good looks
And you may forgive the rapist in time
Save your baby
Don't say maybe
To new life in your womb
When you kill what's in your womb
You make the world a tomb
Only God decides
So have a wafer and a smile
Because all the while
Only God decides
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 4 | 5 | 5 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 20 | 20 | 19 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I beg to differ. Only you decide.
Oy vey, this one really died. That's what I've decided. In the name of Me, don't send in any more parodies. You're a major reason why I sometimes regret giving humanity free will. I had decided to smite you. But my Son talked me out of it. He's a better sport than I am. Of course, He also likes to say, "They know not what they do." What can I say, He's a good boy, but He's not infallible.
Hee hee! See how my servants bash you. Actually, on this site, my most faithful servants are the ones who decide things... or so they think, anyway. In reality, I decide what they do. The reason I can tell you all this so freely is because I have them so befuddled, they would never believe this is me.
Some good lines here, such as the womb/tomb couplet. But, while Christianity requires faith, having faith does not mean that your beliefs cannot stand up to rigorous questioning. Perhaps you are suggesting that some agnostics are going to question everything without ever having the courage to commit to a belief system; but, for the most part, Christians appreciate questions from non-Christians.
Sally, have you ever actually listened to the OS? This was a completely different song altogether - different phrasing, different rhyme scheme. Ignoring that I disagree with your central premise, I don't think you put it across well at all.
Well, one thing that is true here "Only God Decides"
So stop telling me what I should and should not believe because Only God Decides who is right and who is wrong. . .Only God Decides wether or not gay is wrong, not you. . .Take your own advice child, take your own advice. God loves everyone, and if abortion is indeed the way that you believe it to be, then let God deal with it and worry about your own life.
So stop telling me what I should and should not believe because Only God Decides who is right and who is wrong. . .Only God Decides wether or not gay is wrong, not you. . .Take your own advice child, take your own advice. God loves everyone, and if abortion is indeed the way that you believe it to be, then let God deal with it and worry about your own life.
I'm sorry to kill the party here folks but I don't exist. You've all created me in your own image. And if I did exist, I would have made sure that the bible didn't contradict itself so many times. And who the hell says "Thou" and "begets" anyway?
I don't know "Only Women Bleed," and the lyrics I found for it don't seem to match this piece, but I'm willing to grant that I'm missing that part of the joke (since there's a lot of that going around). As a stand-alone work, though, this is painfully funny, with enough darkly brilliant details to make me think I recognize Christian Sally's rakish good looks.
Thanks for your thoughts, suggestions, and compliments!
For heaven's sake (no pun intended), I think you've all gone clear off the deep end (except for spaff.com)! At least SPAFF can put in a simple comment without being pig-headed and mocking Christianity, you stupid jerks!
Not a Christian, though I am a dedicated Alice Cooper fan- Your lyrics aren't quit scanning, but they do come close. Overall, not too bad. As for the Abortion issue? Probably best left alone, Hmm?
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/alicecooper14.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 1182
