It's a darker time down on Coruscant.
The former queen Padme shuffles in
Well, we know that Annie married her:
For a Jedi, that's living in sin.

She says, "Anakin, you've impregnated me."
And we all know how that process goes!
But let's not be obscene; that all happens off-screen;
At least here, they keep on their clothes.

La la la diddy da... la la diddy da... da da....

Keep on your clothes for us, Anakin.
That's one thing you've done right,
'Cause we're not in the mood for obscenity;
Or seeing your bare butt tonight.

Now, Lord Palpatine is the Emperor,
Who hams up his lines for free:
Though they sound like a joke, 'cause they're so filled with hoke,
Still, I think he gives good villainy.

He says "Annie, Mace Windu is killing me!"
As the lightning is twisting his face;
Why does Annie kill for him so readily
If he feels so bad for killing Mace?

Oh, la la la diddy da... la la diddy da... da da....

Kenobi's a rather poor moralist,
Though he always talked a good game.
His thinking is hazy, his dialogue's crazy;
The writer's the one who's to blame.

'Cause George Lucas is preaching his politics:
That's why they all talk as if they're stoned.
He says only bad guys deal in absolutes,
But he's dealing out some of his own.

Sober up, Lucas! You're slipping, man!
Dump your mushrooms tonight;
'Cause we're not in the mood for your politics,
So spare us the lectures, and write!

It's a pretty good end for the trilogy,
And the best summer film in a while.
Though it's not exactly what I'd hoped I would see,
It beats "Interpreter" by a mile.

Now the Jedi temple's a charnel house,
And the younglings are cringing in fear!
While that green Yoda guy takes off into the sky,
Is that E.T.'s soundtrack that I hear?

Oh, la la la diddy da... la la diddy da... da da....

Put a black helmet on Anakin
While Padme dies tonight...
Well, I guess that will do for a tragedy,
But let's hope Lucas learns how to write!