It's a cold night down in the village
When Geppetto speaks out his wish
The Blue Fairy gives life to his puppet
But there's a catch with a slight moral twist

She say's "I can't turn you into a real boy
'Til you prove that you're loyal and true
With this cricket as your guide, he will help you decide
What fun things that you shouldn't do

(la la, de de dah
la la, de de da, da da)

Tell us a lie, you're Pinocchio
Tell us a lie tonight
Did you get the Blue Fairy's phone number?
Cause you know she was lookin' alright

Well Pinoc ditches school for an actor's life
He dreams of fortune and fame
Now he works for a fellow, with a butt made of jell-o
Stromboli I think is his name

He says "Jim I believe this is killing me"
As he cried from the cage where he sat
"Well, I'd much rather be someone's firewood
Than watch 'Boli shake all his fat"

(ha ha, he he hah
ha ha, he he ha, ha ha)

Poor Pinoc can't help being ignorant
Of the tricks that strangers can pull
Well, he should have kept walkin', instead of just talkin'
But there's termites inside of his skull

And he's taken away to Pleasure Island
Where the beer and cigars are both free
Yes, if you must indulge, note the side-effects
Cause a donkey is soon what you'll be

Tell us a lie, you're Pinocchio
Tell us a lie tonight
The good thing about Pleasure Island
There's no Michael Jackson in sight

So where was Geppetto during all of this?
In the one place you wouldn't expect
He's trapped in the gastro, of a whale called Monstro
Just waiting for the time to eject

Through the power of a sneeze, they escape the whale
Who's quite allergic to smoke, you see
Now Pinoc's a real boy, which creates lots of joy
It's over, now let's watch some TV

(saw saw, see see saw
saw saw, see see saw, ha ha!)

Tell us a lie, you're Pinocchio
Tell us a lie tonight
Well, I hope Disney won't make a sequel
Cause I tell ya' that really would bite