I am the great complainer
There's nothing I can stand
I whine about the rain or
Say the drought is out of hand
I never keep my friends long
Which annoys me a lot
Cause after a while they get real riled
From my hate of my home state
And they wish i would be shot

I am the great complainer
I say all heads of state are bad
Saddam shouldn't rule a nation
He shouldn't even rule Lake Chad
I don't know who rules Egypt
But whoever does should not
And the Spanish King doesn't do a thing
And in Qatar the prince might be a star
But over there it's much too hot

I am the great complainer
None of the TV shows are new
They weren't even good the first time
Every night I scold the tube
I could act better than the actors
And I could write them better lines
But stuck in the school whose lunchroom serves gruel
And the teachers think its best that students never rest
I just don't have the time.

I am the great complainer
I really detest those
Teachers who mean columns
When they say to sit in rows
British private school are public
I can hardly live with that
And its making me deranged how English is so strange
Whoever thought it could be something good
To be very phat.

I am the great complainer
My head it really hurts
I might have meningitis
A brain tumor or worse
And I have a cough now
Pneumonia's what I've got
To go to school I am told even if I have a cold
So i got something from the trees like Dutch Elm disease
I sure get sick a lot

I am the great complainer
I fill my peers with rage
They hope that I get stricken
With some complainer phage
Everyone does hate me
And I hate them all
Some are too smart and some always fart
Some are too cool and some sleep throughout school
And some are just too tall

I am the great complainer
There's nothing I can stand
I whine about the rain or
Say the drought is out of hand
I never keep my friends long
Which annoys me a lot
Cause after a while they get real riled
From my hate of my home state
And they wish i would be shot