(instrumental opening)
(emphasis, as usual, on the "mental")

Got a call from an old friend, we used to be real close.
Said I shouldn't go on in this fantasy way.
He said, "Mike, forget her, you should give up on that ghost.
She's forever tied to her old man in L.A.!"

I don't need you to worry 'bout me, though it's not right.
I don't want you to tell me I won't take them home.
I don't care that I don't really know them in real life.
Go ahead with your own life, I know I'm alone!

Never said that you should do as I do or I says.
(I never said you had to...)
Never said you shouldn't think of Jennifer Lopez.
(I never said...)

(Ah...)
Still sing that song.
(Sing... that... song...)
Don't get me wrong!
(Get... me... wrong...)
I'd still like to play
with Ms. Rachael Ray!

They will tell me I can't have Angelina Jolie.
Then they'll tell me I can't be with somebody else.
Someone please, tell me, in the name of all that's holy:
Is there way, it's okay, to wake up with an Elf?

I don't need you to worry 'bout me, though it's not right.
I don't want you to tell me I won't take them home.
I don't care that I don't really know them in real life.
Go ahead with your own life, I know I'm alone!

Never said I had a chance at Halle or Scarlett.
(I never said I had a...)
Never said Jessica Alba's someone I could get.
(No, I can't get...)

(Ah...)
Still sing that song.
(Sing... that... song...)
Don't get me wrong!
(Get... me... wrong...)
Teri Hatcher's mine
but just... in... dream... time!

(instrumental break)

I don't care that I don't really know them in real life.
Go ahead with your own life, I know I'm alone!

(Wake up by yourself, it's real life!)
(Wake up by yourself, it's real life!)
(Wake up by yourself, it's real life!)
(Wake up by yourself, it's real life!)
(repeat 'til fade, like my hopes)