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Song Parodies -> "WalmartMan"
Original Song Title:
"Pianoman"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Billy Joel
Parody Song Title:
"WalmartMan"
Parody Written by:
Andrew D. Lacroix
The Lyrics
Well, I've done it again. I have this dedication to Sam Walton, the late founder of Wal-Mart Stores Inc. I will be adding an "extended version" featuring some of the people I know who work there in my inquiries... Trying to get more parodies done. The "extended version" will be out later. This is number 21.
It's four o'clock on a Saturday
The year was nineteen eighty-eight
Mr. Walton sat down next to me
He said "Drew, isn't this job great?"
He says, "Drew, can you work this pallet for me?
I'm older than you think
Yeah, maybe it's sweet
You're much more upbeat
I'm as old as that bathroom sink!"
(Chorus) Save us some cash, Mr. Wal-Mart Man
Save us some cash tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a paycheck
And you've got us working all night
Now Sam from a far was a friend of mine
He got me this stock for free
He was quick with a joke but he did not smoke
There's no place that he'd rather be
He said "Drew, I believe this ain't killing me"
As a smile was plastered on his face
"Well, hell, I could've been a TV star
If I wanted to get out of this place."
Old Sam had a real estate business
Rarely had time for his wife
Helen, Rob and Jim, his daughter too had been
Fearing for his old sacred life
Rob wanted to practice politics
Old Sam just laid his own gravestone
He had gotten a gift from Mr. Bush
Would have been better getting it alone
Chorus
They have some pretty long lines for a Saturday
But my manager gave me a smile
Cause he knows it could be all the money he'll see
To forget about stress for a while
And the people sound like a carnival
The registers sound of the beep
They go to their car, bread back in their jar
And say "Damn, wasn't this trip cheap?"
Last chorus
The year was nineteen eighty-eight
Mr. Walton sat down next to me
He said "Drew, isn't this job great?"
He says, "Drew, can you work this pallet for me?
I'm older than you think
Yeah, maybe it's sweet
You're much more upbeat
I'm as old as that bathroom sink!"
(Chorus) Save us some cash, Mr. Wal-Mart Man
Save us some cash tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a paycheck
And you've got us working all night
Now Sam from a far was a friend of mine
He got me this stock for free
He was quick with a joke but he did not smoke
There's no place that he'd rather be
He said "Drew, I believe this ain't killing me"
As a smile was plastered on his face
"Well, hell, I could've been a TV star
If I wanted to get out of this place."
Old Sam had a real estate business
Rarely had time for his wife
Helen, Rob and Jim, his daughter too had been
Fearing for his old sacred life
Rob wanted to practice politics
Old Sam just laid his own gravestone
He had gotten a gift from Mr. Bush
Would have been better getting it alone
Chorus
They have some pretty long lines for a Saturday
But my manager gave me a smile
Cause he knows it could be all the money he'll see
To forget about stress for a while
And the people sound like a carnival
The registers sound of the beep
They go to their car, bread back in their jar
And say "Damn, wasn't this trip cheap?"
Last chorus
Written 10/18/07 by Andrew D. Lacroix.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 2 | 3 |
User Comments
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Serious pacing issues, not-as-serious rhyming issues... But anything that smacks Wal-Mart gets a five from me.
I don't think this smacked Wal-Mart much at all, which is oddly refreshing (deserving though it is). My bigger concern is using so much of the OS words (killing me, quick with a joke, on his face, time for [a] wife) throughout. Straight 4s.
Superb potential. Suggestions as per the previous two, plus "afar" is one word. Also, would be a richer epic if there were variations of each chorus instead of just "chorus".... Although agri-ing in principle with Ag, imho you can get away with a lot of OS retention if there is some key change of concept in the line, i.e.
Buddy, ,this is no joke: No, you'd better not smoke...
(also paces better to "Or to light up your smoke") .... I'm going to abstain from voting until the full version is posted. You have the concept and structure for a possible masterpiece there -- take care and do it justice. Very much looking forward to it!
Buddy, ,this is no joke: No, you'd better not smoke...
(also paces better to "Or to light up your smoke") .... I'm going to abstain from voting until the full version is posted. You have the concept and structure for a possible masterpiece there -- take care and do it justice. Very much looking forward to it!
What everyone else said. Cha-Ching $4.45 - Wallmart sale price for not passing inspector 12. Keep working at it - you have great potential.
Everyone who commented, good or bad, thanks. I was kind of in a haste to write the parody; plus my rhymes usually stink. Billy Joel is one of my all time favorite singers and I truly believe it is an honor when anyone parodies one of his hits. This was not so much a "smack" to Wal-Mart as it is more about the truth. Ag, your wife and I have something in common, and the extended version will deal with associates I happen to know and work with all shift long. The verses will sort of follow the same format: On second thought, I might consider breaking it up into two additional parodies of this song. So thanks again, all, and I will post up part one probably Monday or Tuesday.
I forgot to add... I will be resubmitting this song with two different choruses in the near future,as song number 23! Keep posted and thanks for the comments.
I thought my purchase came to $5.11... but I forgor to add the sales tax... it's now $5.55. Great work!
Andy, Andy, Andy....I've got to ask; how much of this writing was parody and how much was reiteration of the OS? You've got a theme,
but as they say on American Idol, "Make it your own, dawg..." I've found it effective using bits and pieces of the OS to drive a point home, but not as the mainstay of the piece.
Just an observation, but I'll vote when you re-submit.
Purrl, thanks for the comment. Yeah, usually guilty as charged. I have already resubmitted, and with help from Tommy Turtle, I will resubmit this again probably before my 50th.
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