A middle of night, awake in my bed
I should be sleepin' but I'm hungry instead
We'll get a car and hit the street
And find a familiar place
You and I, stuff our face oooh

I'm up outta bed, the middle of night
It all depends on my appetite
They'll feed me any time I want
In a fast food restaurant.

Things are okay with me these days
Found a good place, found a good drive thru
Me and my wife, buddies for life
When the food is fine
Oh, we ate lunch so long ago
What we ate? I do not know
If we could ever eat so much after so much time!

Do you remember those days hanging out at the Dairy Queen?
Extra large fries, hamburgers, a buck fifteen
Oh, eatin' Popeye's chicken, came straight
outta New Orleans
Cold drinks, hot fries
My sweet romantic fast food nights

Bertha and Freddie were the popular steadies
And the managers down at Mick-D's
Running around dropping fry trays down
Making McFlurries
Nobody looked any finer or was ever more quick with a drive thru
timer
They never knew they could want more than that out of life
Surely Bertha and Freddie would always know how to make fries

Bertha and Freddie were still working steady in the year of '95
When they decided the marriage would be at the end of July
Everyone said it was easy,
But Bertha you know that your hair's too greasy
And Freddie could never afford to support a new wife
But there we were waving Bertha and Freddie goodbye.

They got an apartment with green shag carpet
And George Foreman grill from Sears
A milkshake machine that they bought with the green
They had saved for a couple of years
But they started to fight when they burgers weren't right
But Freddie had wax in his ears

Well they lived for a while in a very nice style
But it's always the same in the end
They missed all the starch from the big golden arches
They missed the McRibs and their friends
Then the king and the queen came back to the scene
But they could never go back there again.

Bertha and Freddie'd been fired already
By the summer of '95
From the high to the low, Mickie D's let 'em go
For the rest of their lives
They couldn't go back to the greasers
but they got to keep all the french fry pieces
And we always knew they would both find a way to get by
Oh, that's all I heard about Bertha and Freddie
They used to have fries, but they ate 'em already
And here we are waving Bertha and Freddie goodbye.

I'm back in my bed, ooh, back for the night
'Cause I went out and ate my fill tonight
They'll feed you any time you want
At the fast food restuarant